It’s Sunday night, and you may be reflecting on the week that’s just passed, and looking forward to the week yet to come. Maybe you’ve hit some goals this weekend; maybe you managed to stick to two schooners on Saturday night instead of ten. Maybe you’re feeling pretty smug about it. Maybe you’re even planning on joining in on the office lunchtime CrossFit excursions. It’s late in the year, but maybe – you’re starting to think that maybe – you might actually follow through on some of those New Year’s resolutions, and get a bit fitter.
Well I’m here to tell you that your resolutions are crap, goals are for losers, and we may as well all give up now, because this absolute unit, this madman in a wetsuit, this lunatic who laughs in the face of the mighty Neptune, has just finished spending five months swimming his arse off in the frigid ocean in order to completely circumnavigate Britain.
GAZE UPON ROSS EDGLEY, PUNY MORTALS, AND DESPAIR.
And he’s done it! @RossEdgley has become the first person to swim around the British coast. The 33 year old was joined by 300 swimmers as he made his way to Margate: pic.twitter.com/adOyNCg9TZ
— BBC Radio Humberside (@RadioHumberside) November 4, 2018
He’s done it! After over 157 days swimming around Great Britain and breaking multiple world records, alumni @RossEdgley completes the #GreatBritishSwim #LboroFamily pic.twitter.com/wudrcRAtnG
— Loughborough University (@lborouniversity) November 4, 2018
Clap your eyes on that absolute monster of a man. They’ve given him a trident and everything. Of course they have!
Edgley, who’s 33 and has previously amused himself by doing a marathon while pulling a car and climbing the equivalent of Mt Everest on ropes, spent 157 days in the water, swimming a total of 1,780 miles (2865km) around the coast of mainland Britain without setting foot on land once. He’s the first person to do so in history.
Bruised, battered and now battle tested… tomorrow we hope to finish what we started… the first swim in history around the entire coast of Great Britain 🇬🇧 #GreatBritishSwim There might be tears, there WILL be hugs 🤗But CANNOT wait to celebrate with you all on the beach 🏖 pic.twitter.com/MaKE0y6Mnz
— Ross Edgley (@RossEdgley) November 3, 2018
The astounding feat involved swimming up to 12 hours a day, sleeping on a support board, and eating about 500 bananas. After spending so long in the water, he also said that his tongue had started to disintegrate from the salt. Wonderful!
“He was in the water the entire time” – watch @RossEdgley as he becomes the first person to swim around mainland Britain – in an epic 157-day journey from Margate last June pic.twitter.com/tzRShSwukq
— Sky News (@SkyNews) November 4, 2018
Now Edgley is back on dry land, he’s in the process of mastering that whole walking thing once again – which frankly he could consider optional, since now that’s he’s conquered Poseidon with this feat of strength, I’m pretty sure his main mode of transport from here on out will be by flying fish.