Poseidon Cowers Before The Absolute Unit Who Just Swam 3000KM Around Britain

ross edgley great british swim

It’s Sunday night, and you may be reflecting on the week that’s just passed, and looking forward to the week yet to come. Maybe you’ve hit some goals this weekend; maybe you managed to stick to two schooners on Saturday night instead of ten. Maybe you’re feeling pretty smug about it. Maybe you’re even planning on joining in on the office lunchtime CrossFit excursions. It’s late in the year, but maybe – you’re starting to think that maybe – you might actually follow through on some of those New Year’s resolutions, and get a bit fitter.

Well I’m here to tell you that your resolutions are crap, goals are for losers, and we may as well all give up now, because this absolute unit, this madman in a wetsuit, this lunatic who laughs in the face of the mighty Neptune, has just finished spending five months swimming his arse off in the frigid ocean in order to completely circumnavigate Britain.


Clap your eyes on that absolute monster of a man. They’ve given him a trident and everything. Of course they have!

Edgley, who’s 33 and has previously amused himself by doing a marathon while pulling a car and climbing the equivalent of Mt Everest on ropes, spent 157 days in the water, swimming a total of 1,780 miles (2865km) around the coast of mainland Britain without setting foot on land once. He’s the first person to do so in history.

The astounding feat involved swimming up to 12 hours a day, sleeping on a support board, and eating about 500 bananas. After spending so long in the water, he also said that his tongue had started to disintegrate from the salt. Wonderful!

Now Edgley is back on dry land, he’s in the process of mastering that whole walking thing once again – which frankly he could consider optional, since now that’s he’s conquered Poseidon with this feat of strength, I’m pretty sure his main mode of transport from here on out will be by flying fish.