Hell yeah, folks. The Socceroos chances at the FIFA World Cup might be perilously hinged on tonight’s game against Peru, but as far as hope and prayer is concerned the result is now a virtual lock because no less an authority than Pope Francis, God’s goodest bitch, is climbing aboard the train.

Governor-General Peter Cosgrove is currently in the Vatican City for a meeting with his holy dudeness, and in the process has recruited him to Team ‘Straya by virtue of a personalised jersey.

A special gift for His Holiness Pope Francis ahead of tomorrow’s game! ????????⚽️Socceroos

Posted by Governor-General of Australia on Monday, 25 June 2018

He touched it. He put his hands on it. That means the team is now officially blessed, thanks.

The Socceroos’ newest fan would do well to jump on board, should we actually find a way in to the knockout stages of the tournament; Pope Francis is a native of Argentina, and their fortunes this World Cup aren’t exactly plentiful.

While it was certainly a smart move to leave the jumper numberless – 316 is, as we all know, a Stone Cold Steve Austin number first and a bible number a distant second (course if the Pope decided to implement a policy of delivering Stunners to sinners we would be all-the-way on board) – putting “Holy Father” as the name is certainly a bold move.

‘Course there’s a chance it’s not a custom job at all and rather an actual game-worn jersey from Tim Cahill‘s kit bag.

That, frankly, makes it an even more valuable gift.


Image: AAP