The Socceroos managed to pull off a highly respectable draw against Denmark in last night’s pool stage clash at the FIFA World Cup, keeping our hopes of progressing through to the next round alive. But through it all punters across the globe have one prevailing question for coach Bert van Marwijk: Where the bloody hell is Tim Cahill?
Sure, he’s old as shit and hasn’t played a solid 90 minutes of football in the hottest of hot minutes. But despite this, the greatest player Australia’s ever produced has remained bench-bound throughout the two games thus far.
Sure, Australia’s managed to keep the dream alive thanks to a couple of boneheaded handballs and the sure foot of Mile Jedinak, but on the biggest stage of them all, surely there’s room for Cahill to pinch hit and help send us to the promised land?
The experts, much like me last night posted up at the bar about 6 pints deep, were baffled.
Where is Tim Cahill?— brad davidson (@braddavo) June 21, 2018
This #DenAus game is crying out for some @Tim_Cahill magic (as was the France game). Surely the great man gets a run in the last 20 minutes? #Socceroos— James Massola (@jamesmassola) June 21, 2018
Coach Bertie Beetle has done wonders getting this squad into such competitive and tactical shape. But it beggars belief he didn’t roll the dice with @Tim_Cahill with 15 to go IMHO— Adam Spencer (@adambspencer) June 21, 2018
If there was ever a time to play Tim Cahill in this #worldcup, surely this was the occasion?? Last 10 mins, need a goal, plenty of crosses firing into the box… don’t understand?? ????????♂️ Why is he there? #AUSvDEN #DENAUS— Ben Jenkins (@benjenkins) June 21, 2018
Great performance, but who does Australia call on when they need a goal? TIM. CAHILL.— Carly Adno (@CarlyAdno226) June 21, 2018
Bemused at Bert’s decision to bring on Juric instead and Cahill can rightly feel aggrieved. #DENAUS
As for the general punters, the peanut gallery if you will, the sentiment was a little coarser, but no less bemused.
.@Socceroos start Tim Cahill you cowards— Mark Di Stefano ???????? (@MarkDiStef) June 21, 2018
Fucks sake. Another Tim Cahill no show— MarcoSilvaCanShagMyWife (@FinKitch) June 21, 2018
Tim Cahill must have rooted Berts missus— Terry Leighton (@PerthRacingGuru) June 21, 2018
Weird that people are saying Tim Cahill is too old when he is about the same age I am and therefore obviously in his prime. #AUSFRA— Adam Liaw (@adamliaw) June 16, 2018
A little part of me dies inside every time Tim Cahill fails to make it onto the pitch here— Patrick Boyland (@Paddy_Boyland) June 21, 2018
honestly where the fuck is tim cahill, we have no forward who can actually score. this coach sucks. plan a – pray for a handball in the box. GET FUCKED BRING ON CAHILL CUNT— David Landers (@DavidLanders2) June 21, 2018
We need to find the cupboard that Bert has locked Tim Cahill in #WorldCup— George Dimitrak (@GDimitrak) June 21, 2018
Apparently Tim Cahill has gone to Russia to see the sights…— Mitchell Turner (@MitchellTurner8) June 21, 2018
Can we fast forward to the "Tim Cahill subbed in" part of this game?— Matheus Milanez (@biffmila) June 21, 2018
‘Course all this said, the stage is now set:
Australia vs Peru. 10 minutes left. Socceroos in desperate need of a goal to advance.
Mates, it’s coming.