Mick Jagger Almost Certainly Cursed England’s Chances At The World Cup

There’s gonna be a lot of soul searching and questioning in regards to England‘s capitulation in the second half of their FIFA World Cup semi-final against Croatia this morning. Whether the team had the mental strength to face down the biggest hurdle they’ve ever encountered. Whether key strategical mistakes were made that doomed the team to ultimate failure. If selection issues put them on the defensive back-foot which opened the door for their opponents. But through it all, the only true and just answer as to how the English failed to make the World Cup Final is simple: Mick Jagger.

Jagger was present in the stadium for this morning’s semi-final, and the sight of him in the stands immediately caused English football fans across the globe to clench their sphincters in dread.


Because when it comes to the World Cup, Mick Jagger is horribly, horribly cursed.

Jagger posted a video of himself publicly backing England in on his social media just prior to this morning’s game.

Immediately, the Jagger curse transferred to the English side, and the loss was written in the stars.

Mick Jagger’s life a World Cup curse began in 2010 at the World Cup in South Africa.

It started, like all curses do, rather inauspiciously. The ageing rocker attended a United States vs Ghana game and sat next to former US President Bill Clinton, predicting a win for the United States in the process.

The United States lost.

Big deal, you might think. Not a lot in that.

Two days later, Jagger attended the England vs Germany clash in support of his home nation. England lost.

Come the Quarter Finals, Jagger attended the game between Brazil and the Netherlands with his son – who is half-Brazilian – wearing the customary yellow jersey. Brazil got absolutely smashed.

The curse, by that point a hovering, threatening spectre, then leapt across to the 2014 World Cup and just about torched anything that Jagger touched.

He expressed public support for England prior to a group stage game against Uruguay that England lost 2-1.

He predicted Italy would also beat Uruguay in a subsequent group match. Uruguay won again, this time 1-0.

Jagger then flew to Brazil, again with his son, to watch the infamous Brazil vs Germany semi-final game in support of the host nation. Lord, do we ever remember how that turned out.

So when Jagger appeared in Moscow to cheer on the Three Lions, the dreaded uneasiness returned.



England, you’ve got four years to figure out how to keep Mick Jagger from going to Qatar. Figure it out, m8s.