Loose Canadian Unit Smashes World Record For Sculling Piss & Running A Mile

Now *this* is the kind of world record that demands a ticker tape parade and a national holiday. An absolute Canadian weapon has belted the world record for the daunting Beer Mile: That is, a mile-long footrace that requires all participants to sink bulk piss throughout.

Corey Bellemore took on the challenge, which involves four laps of a quarter-mile track with one beer consumed per lap, and not only managed to win by a staggering 30 seconds, but he managed to smash his own world record in the process.

Corey won this year’s Beer Mile World Classic in a stomach-churning time of 4:33.6. Four minutes, thirty-three point six seconds to run a full mile and smash four stubbies. That is nothing short of vicious.

Bellemore’s time eclipses his previous world record mark by over half a second, and far eclipses anyone else attempting the race alongside him. Cop the footage.

My man is sucking back hop dogs like they’re Gatorade right there. Unbelievable areas.

Bellemore, for what it’s worth, is just the second beer mile runner to score an endorsement deal, after Adidas snapped up the 23-year-old late last year.

The race is partly judged on drinking technique and completionism, and vomiting during the race incurs a full penalty lap.

Bellemore hones his beer-running technique on the simple principle of “chug fast, burp, and breathe” and runs with a bottle opener to shave precious seconds off the beer opening time. He also manages to stay extremely humble, despite his global dominance.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a pure athlete. As pure as it gets.