Here he is, folks! It’s Greg Norman. And tonight, he is on the sauce.
The Great White Shark himself is, as we speak, enjoying a tipple at his stately home.
How do we know this? He revealed it himself on Twitter.
Tonight is a three vodka night!! pic.twitter.com/8KhPTs0dID
— Greg Norman (@SharkGregNorman) July 12, 2018
A full-resolution, iPhone portrait mode shot of 63-year-old Greg Norman’s immensely powerful arm grasping what’s likely his second vodka of the night while boldly declaring – double exclamation mark and all – that he is thundering head-long into vodka number three.
The great man himself has cracked open the Grey Goose and he is going to town.
The man who looks like he hasn’t been inside since 1992 has thrown the dust off the good glassware and he is having a goddamned night.
It’s a bold move to call your shot on the amount of drinks you’ll be having that night, particularly on social media. But we can’t help but respect it fully.
What if he polishes off tres and feels the urge to punish cuatro? Not Greggy. Greggy’s night ends at three vodkas. No more, and absolutely no less.
What manner of man does Greg “The Great White Shark” Norman become with three sizzling voddos shoved squarely under the belt? Does he remove his pants, engage the seldom-used recline mechanism on his Lay-Z-Boy, and put Bridge on the River Kwai on at absurd volumes?
Does he commandeer every spare glass and mug in the house and turn his entire abode into a giant pitch and putt, avenging his capitulation at the 1996 Masters through fantasy?
Or does he break out the Happy New Year 2004 sparkly green bowler hat, bang on some fuckin’ Steely Dan, and proceed to Reel In a few Beers after the vodka supplies have run dry?
Whatever the case may be, there’s no doubt about it: Greg Norman is on the gas.
He’s teeing right off.
He’s punching out from a steep bunker.
He’s whipped out the five iron and he’s putting one into the lake.
Folks, Greg Norman is tying one on.
You probably should too.