Behold The Winter Olympic Sport Of The Future: Human Sledding

Though the Winter Olympic competition, as we’ve previously discussed on here, is a frosty parade marching headlong into the horny maw of death, it is fertile ground for technological advancement and evolution.

In the past, that evolution has seen things pushed towards the dangerous end of the ledger: Some idiot with a deathwish somehow has the brain thought that luge isn’t quite dangerous enough, and thus the skeleton is born. A pissed off mountain man decides that, as well as skiing, he’d quite like to bash people simultaneously, and therefore we get skicross. A downhill skier grows tired of having knees, and devises the moguls as a means of destroying them as quickly as humanly possible.

But few, if any, advancements in snow racing technology show as much promise as this one.

The mightiest of new events.

Surely the future sport of kings and queens.

A gripping, exciting, mind-bogglingly entertaining spectacle.

Folks, we introduce to you: Human sledding.

Tyler Nicholson and Staale Sandbech create a new Olympic Sport from r/sports

The sport, trialled here by clearly now former snowboarders Tyler Nicholson and Staale Sandbech, offers clear promise for the future not only of the Winter Olympics, but of snow sports as a whole.

Take a closer look at the pure action and unbridled potential here.

Such poise. Such grace. Such elegance. True poetry in motion.

Like all good Winter Olympic sports, it combines two key elements: Gymnastic-like body control and fluidity, and the crippling fear of being irreparably paralysed at any given moment.

But unlike all other winter sports, this one provides enormous possibilities for the common man. Gone are the expensive clothes, the unaffordable equipment, and the hours of training. Replaced, instead, by a crafty bloke and a bloke with a dumb enough ass to slide down a mountain on their belly.

Very much looking forward to seeing its Olympic debut in Beijing in 2022.