Brock Lesnar is the greatest professional wrestler in the world today. That is a statement that is not up for debate. It exists as quantifiable fact.

Not that it need be explained, but the reasons for this are simply because as a performer he has two functions. The first being standing silent in the ring and letting inarguably professional wrestling’s greatest manager successfully sell piss as champagne. The second being absolutely wrecking shit.

That’s it. That’s all there is to Brock Lesnar. And it works because the physical presence he carries is awe-inspiring, and because… ahh, to hell with it. It works because he’s BROCK FREAKING LESNAR.

‘Course that doesn’t preclude him from the human foible of occasionally saying something totally inane. Case in point, this little in-ring gem from the recent WrestleMania 31 main event.

Because the internet is a beautiful, beautiful place, of course we’ve now got the full “Suplex City, Bitch” parody track we all so richly deserve.

Sure, there’s been endless Vine loops of just the hook. But this is a lyrics-and-all wrestling masterpiece that puts “Be A Man” and “Stand Back” to shame. Plus it’s Heyman Hustle produced and approved – ergo the only video officially worthy of the TRUE reigning, defending WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World.

If they end up running with Lesnar vs Seth Rollins for the title at some point down the track, the company can just go ahead and take whatever amount of money from my wallet they see fit.