Ordinarily you tend to brace the ole sphincter whenever a yarn about an AFL club’s yearly Mad Monday celebrations crops up; whenever they’re newsworthy it’s usually not good news. But one constant exception to that rule is the celebrations held by the Geelong Football Club, mostly because they consistently fucking rule.
The Cats, other than being a really good footy side, are famous for their yearly players’ do, largely due to the fact that they’re able to pull it off year in, year out while a) trotting out a parade of incredible and hilarious costumes, and b) managing to do so without being total fuckwits about it. Which is remarkable, really.
This year? No exception. In fact they might’ve outdone themselves.
Having less of a Mad Monday and more of a Wacky Wednesday, the Cats boys gathered at the Lord of the Isles pub in western Geelong. And the costumes are ah… quite spectacular.
Young key forward/man in possession of an incredible name Wylie Buzza revealed his long-lost genetic links to North Melbourne’s own Ben Brown.
Pretty incredible likeness TBH.
Daniel Menzel did a full 180 in paying homage to Australian darts legend Simon “The Wizard” Whitlock.
Lachie Henderson, Cameron Guthrie, Rhys Stanley, and Zac Smith declared in one voice that the tribe had spoken, showing a deep love of Survivor and its one true host Jeff Probst (soz Johnathan).
Rookies Sam Simpson and Zach Guthrie as a pair of Auskick kids meeting their heroes is, frankly, a stroke of genius and might’ve scored votes on any other day.
As would these Tetris boys, who strolled down the block in a perfect line.
Tetris boys #wackywednesday @GeelongCats11 pic.twitter.com/ByMmzvNhLl
— Michael Scanlan (@MScanlan7) September 26, 2017
But if you’re looking at a pure Brownlow Medal-style vote for the day, then on one vote is George Horlin-Smith, playing up his remarkable resemblance to Julie Andrews in a reference from so deep in the barrel it probably needs professional restoration.
2 votes goes to Mark Blicavs for his spot-fucking-on Mack Horton costume, which came complete with an actual Olympic Gold Medal sourced from Sydney 2000 hockey champion Claire Mitchell-Taverner, which puts everyone else’s yoghurt-lid-and-paperclips efforts to absolute shame.
And that should’ve been enough to take home the chocolates, were it not for the brothers Selwood: Joel and Scott, who somehow organised their own media scrum and security detail to pull off a pitch-perfect Schapelle & Mercedes Corby stunt on the way into the pub.
Hahaha Schapelle Corby just rocked up #wackywednesday @GeelongCats11 pic.twitter.com/Gg6BBRMnLr
— Michael Scanlan (@MScanlan7) September 26, 2017
Honestly, with costumes this good, why would you even bother?
Don’t miss our full wrap up of today’s Wacky Wednesday celebrations! Who was your favourite? pic.twitter.com/du2uuMeIeE
— Geelong Cats (@GeelongCats) September 27, 2017
Onya, lads.
