Fuck Me Sideways, We Actually Won A (Men’s) Test Match

Would you even believe it? Would you even bloody believe it? The Australian men’s cricket team just won a test match. They won it. Not drawn. Not no result. Won. Comprehensively too. Hooley bloody dooley.

Australia made short work of India on Day 5 of the Perth Test today, rattling through the Indian tail end to dismiss the visitors for just 140 in their second innings, securing a 146-run victory.

[jwplayer DLuSQuxa]

The Australians mowed through the Indian battling lineup that didn’t really get going in the game unless you happened to be named Virat Kohli, taking 6 for 28 on Day 5 in just 65 minutes to close the game out.

For those stats nerds among you, the great Nathan Lyon walked away with 3 wickets (making it 8 total for the game), Mitchell Starc also managed to pick up 3, while Pat Cummins and Josh Hazlewood picked up 2 apiece. Cummins managed to pick up the final wicket of the game, sending Indian number 11 Jasprit Bumrah back to the sheds for a third-ball duck.

Look at this. Drink it the fuck in mates.

How sweet it is, mates!

Not only does the win level the series against India at 1 each, but it also represents Australia’s first test match win in over 9 months, with the men’s side’s last test win coming in the first test in South Africa at the start of March, before the ball tampering saga hurled a wrecking ball through everything.

More to that, it was Tim Paine‘s first test victory as Australian captain, having hauled the national side through the controversy and, now, into what appears to be the fresh air of a new era.

And while he didn’t get player of the match honours (Gary the Goat copped that, for obvious reasons), Paine certainly walked away with the sledge of the match award thanks to this pearler from late yesterday.

Bloody. Got. Him.

The series now moves to Melbourne for the traditional Boxing Day test at the MCG.

Get around it! Get around test cricket!