Of all the things to excel at in this total garbage fire year, sitting top of the table for your tipping comp has got to be one of the most impressive. Doing it while also navigating an entire state through a pandemic crisis where your capital city is the worst-struck in the entire country and you’ve had to bring in a city-wide curfew and stop people from travelling? An entirely impossible task. And yet, Victorian Premier Dan Andrews is doing it – he’s winning a fucking tipping comp.

The absolute fucking madman.

On the Expert Tips ladder of the Tips.com.au, you’ve got the likes of actual former AFL players turned media types like  David KingCourtney CrameyNick Riewoldt, James Hird, and Tim Watson, and yet it’s Daniel bloody Andrews who’s sitting pretty right at the top. You’d be bloody fuming.

Surely tipping the footy has got to be right down on the list of things that are somewhat important to the man. And yet, here he is, getting his tips in week after week, and barely missing a beat.

dan andrews tipping
Look at him, sitting up there like he knows how to roost a torp from 70 out.

In the 11 rounds of Pure Chaos Footy where nothing has ever truly made sense (I mean, Port Adelaide on top? Are you kidding me?) Dan Andrews has had at most four incorrect tips in a week. FOUR.

Even with a genuine sit-down look at the ladder, how teams have been performing, who’s injured or suspended or both, whether Geelong has had their bye round or not, and how much Metricon Stadium’s grass has turned into a scene from Mad Max, I still end up with at least four wrong tips every round.

All I can guess is that Dan Andrews is only excelling at tipping because he’s either got someone on the inside or is just a huge numbers nerd man. Or maybe he can predict the future. Yeah, that’s how he’s nudging ahead by two points, and I demand he shares his insights with me. Even though he actively tips against Essendon, the team we both love and love to hate.

Please, Daniel. My tips are so weak and sickly.

Image: Twitter / @essendonfc