There are not a lot of circumstances in which beer is a performance-enhancing drug. The first two or three might help you feel less socially anxious and, if you’re lucky, might help you dance better, but after that, it’s a complete wash. The loss of coordination, balance, judgment, and short- and long-term recall will rarely make you better at anything, which makes the decision of this specific curling team to get royally shitfaced at a tournament more baffling than it is morally reprehensible.
As the Red Deer Advocate is reporting, a team from Yellowknife in Canada‘s Northwest Territories was booted from the Red Deer Curling Classic in Red Deer, Alberta on Sunday for being way, way too rowdy. Wade Thurber, the manager of the centre, said that the team was “extremely drunk” and had been “breaking brooms and swearing“. According to Deadspin, the team had also damaged their locker room and been kicking stones (those big things they slide on the ice).
The team was cut off from the bar, booted from the tournament, and, ultimately, banned for life from Red Deer Curling Classic events.
— David Sciacero (@DavidSciacero) November 18, 2018
Members of the team were contrite in the aftermath, posting statements apologising for their behaviour:
My official statement regarding the 2018 Red Deer Curling Classic. pic.twitter.com/FUEbW92dG5
— Jamie Koe (@JKnwt) November 19, 2018
Red Deer Curling Classic pic.twitter.com/LKNLtzDQOH
— Chris Schille (@cschille) November 19, 2018
— DJ Kidby (@dkidby21) November 19, 2018
Honestly, I’m still wrapping my mind around curling being a real sport.