Footy banners. In times of yore they were chiefly used to either celebrate player milestones or display fairly bog-standard rhymes of general encouragement. But thanks to the Western Bulldogs and comedian Danny McGinlay in 2016, the art of the banner has seen a renaissance thanks to clubs finally realising that it’s a pretty convenient blank slate upon which red hot banter can be affixed to. And in season 2018, no team’s banner banter has been more consistently hot than that of Collingwood.
Time and time again the Pies banners have spat hot fire at their opponents throughout season 2018. But it took an almighty cock-up to spark their banter game into hot form.
The club’s round three banner was widely – and rightfully – bashed from pillar to post for the egregious crime of misspelling the word “tonight.”
Dead set woeful effort there to be honest.
But that, as it turns out, was the spark needed to turn things around. The following week, the club copped to their own blunder in hilarious fashion.
That’s how you admit your own errors, right there.
From then on, the Pies banners featured pointed barbs and hilarious quips aimed at whoever they crossed paths with that week.
This jab at Geelong‘s much-vaunted three-headed midfield beast was particularly on-point.
— Collingwood FC (@CollingwoodFC) May 13, 2018
Later on, against Richmond, whoever writes the banners turned a now-famous incident in which Scott Pendlebury bounced a footy off a mid-flight pigeon into fodder for a searing burn.
We’re on a mission
We’ll be the ball
You be the pigeon pic.twitter.com/BzTX53LlKh
— Neroli Meadows (@Neroli_Meadows) July 28, 2018
The week after that, following Jack Higgins miraculous Goal of the Year effort, the Pies took to embedding hidden messages to get their thoughts on the kick across.
That hidden message though. 😏
(via Reddit user jmads13) pic.twitter.com/6oAnh3CU08
— 7AFL (@7AFL) August 4, 2018
IT EVEN RHYMES WITH THE REST OF THE BANNER FOR GOD’S SAKE. Unbelievable areas.
The form carried through to the Finals as well, with this semi final effort taking aim at GWS gnat Toby Greene‘s much maligned marking strategy.
— Damien Ractliffe (@DamienRactliffe) September 15, 2018
The best of the lot came in Round 23, with Collingwood vying for a top-two finish. Up against Fremantle, and looking to climb above West Coast on the ladder, the cheer squad appealed to the common enemy with this absolute pearler.
— Craig ™ (@craigofmanning) August 25, 2018
Un. Bloody. Real. That is top shelf banter. A real chef kiss moment if ever there was one.
With the Grand Final now just a day away, you’d think preparations are well underway to drop a banner fitting of the big game. And if current form is anything to go by, it’s fixing to be a belter.