The Buffalo Bills Suck So Hard That A Player Abruptly Retired At Half Time

As far as the modern era goes, the Buffalo Bills are a very bad football team. One of the NFL‘s perennial cellar-dwellers over the past couple of decades, the Bills endured an agonising 17-year stretch without appearing in the Playoffs. And this season doesn’t appear to hold much hope for their enduringly loyal fanbase either.

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Apparently though, enough was enough for veteran defender Vontae Davis who, in the grips of a 28-6 half time deficit in the Bills week 2 game against the Los Angeles Chargers, calmly took his helmet and pads off and retired from the sport entirely.

At half time.

As in, in the middle of game in which he’d already played the first half.


“Put his street clothes on and left the stadium” retired.

Kind of like a reverse “Coach Bombay pulls out the Ducks uniforms and Team USA rallies to beat Iceland” from The Mighty Ducks 2.

As bizarre as that may seem for professional sports, that’s apparently what happened.

According to multiple reporters at the game, Davis played the first half of the game (in which he made two tackles), walked off the ground at half time, told coaches he was quitting, and then packed his gear up and left the building.

Following the game (which the Bills fought their way back into, but still lost 31-20), Davis issued a statement confirming he was fully retiring – as in “done with the game for good” – via the NFL’s social media feeds.

How bad does shit have to be where you can’t even run out a second half of a game? Hooley dooley.

Unbelievably, Davis had only signed on with the Bills in February; inking a US$5million deal of which $3.5million was guaranteed.

And given he didn’t play in week one, that’s a hell of a payday for one half of football.

But man, Buffalo. What the hell is going on.