Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. He did it. The crazy sonofabitch actually did it. After some 728 quarters with a full bagel on the stat sheet, Ben Simmons – the boy, the absolute lad – hit a three.

He HIT A THREE.

A no-fooling, actual, in-game, three point bucket. Clean as a whistle. Down it goes. Holy fucking hell.

Simmons, quite infamously, has spent his entire burgeoning NBA career thus far absolutely scoreless from beyond the three-point arc, displaying the kind of violent physical aversion to even attempting three-point shots that your average allergist would shit themselves to study.

But the hype over the off-season has been all about Simmons’ reported jump shot. Does he have one now? Does the lad from Fitzroy finally have the skills to start bombing them from long-range?

With seconds to go in the first half of today’s pre-season clash between Philadelphia and Chinese side Guangzhou, we found out.

He fucken hit one, he actually goddamn did it, mother of god.

Is it a pre-season game? Yes. Does that actually count on his official career stat sheet? Probably not. Does the Guangzhou defence more closely resemble a pile of half-melted witches hats? A bit. Was the score 82 – 41 at half time? Sure.

But that’s still Ben By-God Simmons hitting an in-game three point shot on an honest-to-goodness NBA court. Hell has frozen over, Simmons has a jump shot, halle-fucken-lujah.

Check out the Internet reaction, in all its caps-lock, mega-hyped majesty.

A big shout out and daily MVP award, however, goes to the Did Ben Simmons Make A 3? Twitter feed, which has been diligently documenting this journey for well over a year, and is currently in full-on meltdown mode.

Ben Simmons has made a three (in a pre-season game). If the NBA wasn’t safe before, it sure as shit ain’t now.

Image: Getty Images / Mitchell Leff