Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. He did it. The crazy sonofabitch actually did it. After some 728 quarters with a full bagel on the stat sheet, Ben Simmons – the boy, the absolute lad – hit a three.
He HIT A THREE.
A no-fooling, actual, in-game, three point bucket. Clean as a whistle. Down it goes. Holy fucking hell.
[jwplayer XqDkO1AX]
Simmons, quite infamously, has spent his entire burgeoning NBA career thus far absolutely scoreless from beyond the three-point arc, displaying the kind of violent physical aversion to even attempting three-point shots that your average allergist would shit themselves to study.
But the hype over the off-season has been all about Simmons’ reported jump shot. Does he have one now? Does the lad from Fitzroy finally have the skills to start bombing them from long-range?
With seconds to go in the first half of today’s pre-season clash between Philadelphia and Chinese side Guangzhou, we found out.
He fucken hit one, he actually goddamn did it, mother of god.
BEN SIMMONS HIT A 3PT. pic.twitter.com/TEpomnW9Uy
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) October 9, 2019
Is it a pre-season game? Yes. Does that actually count on his official career stat sheet? Probably not. Does the Guangzhou defence more closely resemble a pile of half-melted witches hats? A bit. Was the score 82 – 41 at half time? Sure.
But that’s still Ben By-God Simmons hitting an in-game three point shot on an honest-to-goodness NBA court. Hell has frozen over, Simmons has a jump shot, halle-fucken-lujah.
Check out the Internet reaction, in all its caps-lock, mega-hyped majesty.
🚨 It happened 🚨
I was there the night Ben Simmons made his first 3 at Wells Fargo Center! #Sixers pic.twitter.com/T7aKI3CbOi
— John Clark (@JClarkNBCS) October 9, 2019
NBA Twitter after Ben Simmons first three:
— Jack (@jackkcronin) October 9, 2019
https://twitter.com/IanKarmel/status/1181730166046773248
“How many times have you watched the Ben Simmons 3?”
Me: pic.twitter.com/VkFgwaRvfu
— Peter (@peter100emoji) October 9, 2019
https://twitter.com/a2dradio_com/status/1181729822491451392
https://twitter.com/WorldWideWob/status/1181727276007854080
Put Ben Simmons’s first three in the Louvre. pic.twitter.com/XMdfIljLsT
— Kevin O’Connor (@KevinOConnorNBA) October 9, 2019
https://twitter.com/SnowmanEmbiid/status/1181726526754168832
Gonna tell my kids where I was when Ben Simmons hit a 3 over CJ Harris and demoralized the Guangzhou Loong Lions https://t.co/7IPhffgCeH
— max (@MaxOnTwitter) October 9, 2019
cultural impact:
█
█
█
█ ＿Ben Simmons 3’s Anything Else
— Josh Lyons (@TheLyons_Den) October 9, 2019
Sixers fans, when they saw Ben Simmons finally make a 3 pointer pic.twitter.com/U2vrKRjnrN
— NOTSportsCenter (@NOTSportsCenter) October 9, 2019
A big shout out and daily MVP award, however, goes to the Did Ben Simmons Make A 3? Twitter feed, which has been diligently documenting this journey for well over a year, and is currently in full-on meltdown mode.
BEN SIMMONS FUCKING PRE SEASON NBA 3 POINTER!!!!!!!! I AM NOT LYING OMGOMGOMGOMG
— Did Ben Simmons make a 3?? (@Didsimmons) October 9, 2019
I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES
— Did Ben Simmons make a 3?? (@Didsimmons) October 9, 2019
YES
— Did Ben Simmons make a 3?? (@Didsimmons) October 9, 2019
RT IF YOU HAVE A BONER
pic.twitter.com/yCz1RrPwU5— Did Ben Simmons make a 3?? (@Didsimmons) October 9, 2019
For everyone in mentions asking me what I’m going to do now because of a Ben Simmons pre season 3 pointer….. pic.twitter.com/sPLomY2Vku
— Did Ben Simmons make a 3?? (@Didsimmons) October 9, 2019
#NewProfilePic pic.twitter.com/C4OuHeejFh
— Did Ben Simmons make a 3?? (@Didsimmons) October 9, 2019
Ben Simmons has made a three (in a pre-season game). If the NBA wasn’t safe before, it sure as shit ain’t now.
