Baseball. A perfectly fine way to pass a few hours in the summer sun, and a bafflingly weird game filled to the brim with bizarre unwritten traditions and customs.
As a player, there are many: Don’t flip your bat too hard. Don’t linger and stare at a home run you’ve hit. Don’t steal a base if you’re ahead by heaps, and so on, and so on, and so on.
For fans, there’s really only three: Don’t dog your own team by getting in the way of a potential fence-line catch. Do not take errant souvenirs away from children. And if you use a beer cup to help catch a foul ball, the only good and right thing to do is stand, salute, and slamma the biz.
A bloke attending a recent Chicago Cubs game became the dictionary definition of the latter, hauling an otherwise innocuous foul ball into his very large and probably wildly expensive American beer, before sending the crowd into a frenzy after he calmly rose to his feet, doffed his cap, and sucked the dick off of it like it was the last schlong on earth.
Catch the ⚾️
Tip the 🧢
Drink the 🍺 pic.twitter.com/2MjtjxDKHz
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) August 28, 2018
Yes sir. That’s a fine, fine effort right there.
Here’s an extended look of your new King’s moment in the sun, in all its slow-motion glory.
⚾️+⤵️+🍺= CHUG! pic.twitter.com/ioxkc5xYY8
— Cut4 (@Cut4) August 28, 2018
That man has now become more powerful than he ever though possible. A true adonis of the sporting field.
Honestly, I hope he never takes the ball out of that cup. They are one now.