Corporate naming rights of sporting stadiums and arenas are already inherently stupid, let’s not get this twisted. For every MCG or Lambeau Field that staunchly retains and protects their historic title, there’s a shiny new Smoothie King Centre or 1300SMILES Stadium that totally sells it down the river. It’s an utterly ridiculous concept, so the best we could ever hope for is for some company with more money than they know what to do with ponying up the cash to do something outrageous and wonderful. Enter, the current bidding war for naming rights to a major NBA arena, and the porn company BangBros.
[jwplayer PW8IGvNL]
The story goes the NBA’s Miami Heat and their home city council are in the process of looking for a new corporate sponsor for their arena, after previous holders American Airlines revealed they would not be renewing their sponsorship after this year.
As you’d imagine, naming rights to a major NBA arena is a lucrative business, so the competition to nab them has been reasonably fierce.
BangBros, which happens to be based in Miami, has officially put their hand – and probably other bodily parts – up for consideration this morning, submitting an extremely real $10 million bid that, if successful, would see the arena renamed the BangBros Centre for the next 10 years.
Or, the BBC.
You don’t have to be British to know they’re not referring to a TV station with that one.
https://twitter.com/BangBrosDotCom1/status/1172216456563560448
The proposal includes an artist’s mock-up of what the arena would look like under the watchful eye of a porn company, complete with giant horny bus on the ceiling and a big-ass sign (not, we stress, a big ass sign) out front.
They’ve even put together a website for the bid, which if you can even believe it, is 100% clean and safe for work.
We’re not kidding. Click on it. The only thing close to a dirty joke in there is a Pitbull reference.
While it would kick indescribable ass to have a porn company sponsor a major American arena, the outcome looks a little bleak for the BangBros and their beloved bus.
American Airlines was paying around $2 million per year to maintain the naming rights to the arena, and reports suggest the potential winning bid would be paying somewhere around $6 million per year for that privilege. So a $1 million-per-year contract over the span of a decade isn’t likely to get the deal done.
Honestly, they should put all $10 million in one basket for a single-year deal. The joke doesn’t get outlived that way, and you’re still getting – pun very intended – bang for your buck as far as – again, intended – exposure goes.
‘Course a decade deal allows time for the team to get good again, meaning an NBA Championship banner wouldn’t be the only thing being hung in there.
Ya gotta laugh, folks.
