The well-hydrated Todd Carney is still Australian footy’s reigning king of urinating in places he probably shouldn’t, after being picked up for peeing on a man in a nightclub in 2008, and then being photographed earlier this year directing his stream into his own mouth.

In sport, though, as in life, nobody can stay on the top forever, and it appears that Gold Coast Titans captain Greg Bird is making an aggressive attempt to snatch Todd Carney’s golden shower crown.

The Sydney Morning Herald report that the player, who got married this past weekend in Byron Bay, went out on the piss to celebrate, and was spotted weeing on a fully-marked police car shortly after leaving a venue on Sunday night.

“A number of witnesses” reportedly spotted the act, and Bird, his bladder blessedly empty but his conscience heavy with regret, took himself to a police station earlier today, where he was issued with a fine.

Given the reverential treatment footy players receive in Australia, it’s kind of no surprise that they see every shiny surface and every unwitting nightclub patron’s leg as a tempting new target at which to aim their streams.

Instead of the incriminating photo of Bird peeing on the car that you probably wanted, here’s a lovely snap of his wedding, before he ruined everything with his wee:

Thankyou everyone who joined us last night for our special day! #KnotTied #GlamourBride #BestDayOfMyLife #CanDance

A photo posted by Greg Bird (@birdman_13) on

Photo: Quinn Rooney via Getty Images