We’re in the piss-awful period between anything meaningful in football happening and early February, meaning the most interesting footy story at the moment chalks up to about “Dyson Heppell wore a hat at training today.” Fortunately for us all, the constantly bored AFL Commission continues to make utterly baffling minor decisions that provide just enough brow furrowing to get us through the festive period. Today’s barnburner: The umpires’ bounce is here to stay.
Yes folks, the intensely weird and wholly unique method of beginning play in an Australian Rules Football game – a skill not one person has been able to perfect in 130 years – is apparently here to stay.
Umpires have been bleating for a while now that the bounce of the ball is far too imperfect to exist in the modern game, and runs the risk of erasing a team’s chance of winning a game thanks to the precious seconds washed off the clock during a recalled bounce.
They argued, instead, that the much more consistent throw of the ball should be used full-time, erasing the bounce from the game forevermore.
However the Commission, forever in their infinite wisdom, has today ruled that the bounce was staying, arguing that all umpires who wish to officiate at an elite level need to know how to perform the insanely abnormal movement, and that it was imperative for the league to present a “spectacular” product.
Umpires will retain the right to recall errant bounces, with statistics showing around three percent of all bounces were recalled during season 2017.
Realistically though, anything that increases the possibility of a falcon is a-bloody-ok by me.
