I’m not pointing any fingers here, but it certainly seems like some sneaky Victorian has had a word in the ear of a Queensland government bureaucrat, and convinced them that an AFL ball is half a metre in length. That’s the only possible way to explain the most recent post on the Queensland Health Facebook page, which is copping … I’ll go ahead and say a fairly generous roasting from Victorian footy fans.

Thanks to COVID, this year’s AFL Grand Final will be held at the Gabba in Brisbane. The Richmond Tigers will face off against the Geelong Cats, in what will be the first time a Grand Final has ever been played outside of Victoria.

In an attempt to get into the spirit of things, Queensland Health posted an infographic about social distancing, advising people to keep a metre an a half apart. “How do you visualise 1.5m?” they blithely asked. “Today we’re using around 3 AFL balls.” Oh dear.

Punters quickly picked up on the error, and proceeded to roast them, the sport itself, and pretty much everybody.

“Measure twice calculate once Queensland Health,” said one.

“Best be taking a helmet tomorrow I hear the footballs are bigger in the grand final confirmed by QH,” one commenter told a friend.

“Makes sense to get the measurement wrong since it’s the only sport that gives you a point for being close enough,” said another.

“Think you’ve gone off circumference rather than length!” chimed in one helpful commenter. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard that! Anyway, where were we?

Some who did the maths pointed out that 1.5m would be a lot closer to five balls, although visualising that is somehow even harder than visualising three, and when did AFL balls become a unit of measurement in the first place?

You can go ahead and peruse the Queensland Health Facebook page for much, much more of this.