In this time of lockdown, and isolation, and people living in the eternal malaise of no toilet paper and not being allowed to party pash probably ever again, there are few wins we get to have in life. But friends, I have one. For us all, if you signed the petition and shared the OG article – WE MADE CHANNEL 7 AIR THE 2000 SYDNEY OLYMPICS.

Well, kind of. They aren’t doing it exactly as we requested which upsets me in the soul region a bit. I specifically said it had to be the WHOLE Olympics. What is even happening on 7Mate, you know? Just wipe your content for a month!

I digress.

The news is, via B&T, that Seven will be airing  a two-part series on the best Olympics of all time (sucked in, Athens circa 200BC) running at the end of this month. The first episode, hitting screens on the 29th July, will be called The Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games Sydney 2000 Uncovered, which is long and convoluted but also sexy and spicy??

In the ep, new interviews with key players like Vanessa Amorosi, Human Nature, and of course Nikki Webster. Give me some FKN TEAAAA, adult Nikki Webster! Lol idk what tea someone who was a literal child at the time of the 2000 Sydney Olympics would have, but I am ready for it, even if it’s just “and then I purposely flushed this dance extra’s makeup down the toot because I was pissed they wouldn’t let me wear their special lip gloss”.

The second instalment lands on August 5, and is called Olympic Games Sydney 2000 Moments that Moved Us. Again, I just think these titles could have been a bit more schmick, guys. Tighten it up, you know?

Also give us Eric the Eel or we riot

But THIS is the one I’m really keen for. It’s a two hour look at key moments that defined the 2000 Sydney Olympics, and it’s hosted by Sunrise’s Mark Beretta (YESSSSS A LEGEND OF OUR TIMES), and a bunch of Seven’s Olympic Games experts led by Bruce McAvaney (MCAVANEY!!!!!! THE MAN!!!!), Johanna Griggs (THE FISH HERSELF) , Mark Beretta (THERE HE IS AGAIN, YOU GO SON), Dennis Cometti (I DON’T KNOW WHO THIS IS), Pat Welsh (OR THIS), Lord Sebastian Coe (THIS GUY IS A LORD, HOW), Tamsyn Manou (I FINALLY GOOGLED, SHE’S AN EX TRACK AND FIELD RUNNER) and Raelene Boyle (FUCK YEAH RAE! CAN I CALL YOU RAE!).

What a line up. What a line UP. Why am I talking like Bruce McAvaney? I’m over-stimulated now.

Head of Olympics and Commonwealth Games Seven West Media Andy Kay, who I would like to have SOME WORDS WITH about not following my directions to a T, made this statement.

“As one of only five countries that have competed at every Olympiad since 1896, the Olympic Games is deeply etched into Australia’s sporting DNA. That was never more evident than in Sydney 2000. For those who were there and the many more who watched on Seven, the memories of Australia’s greatest ever sporting moment will always remain. And with Tokyo 2020 now just one year away, what better time to relive the magic of Sydney – and to look forward to the next exciting chapter in our rich Olympic history.”

Look, it’s a good start you guys but if you could just expand this out to “take over of 7Mate with the entire 2000 Sydney Olympics plus The Dream” that’d be great, thanks.

For now, let’s be proud that our collective screeching on the internet DID THIS.

Image: Getty Images