There are a few eternally intriguing questions in life. Why are we here? How the hell did we get here? Where do we go when we go? They’re a universal part of the human experience.
However, there is one question that I don’t think any of the great philosophers ever pondered:
Which is actually hotter – the fishing profile pic or the car profile pic?
Socrates never dared, Plato wasn’t bold enough, and frankly, Nietzsche simply wouldn’t have the guts.
You know exactly the ones I’m talking about. The awkward-lean-against-the-souped-up-Mitzi Tinder profile pic. The boys-weekend-sea-bass-catch IG profile pic.
They’ve been fixtures on the internet for years at this point. I will flat-out say they’re never good photos – quality-wise. They always look as though they’ve been taken on a cracked burner phone or have been so highly posed and poorly edited that they look like they’ve been taken out of a Kmart catalogue from 2008.
But yet they persist. Clearly, something is working. There must be people out there whose jimmies are rustled by these images. And hey, I’m not yucking anyone’s yum here, I’m just saying what we’re all thinking.
There’s no denying the way we present ourselves online is highly calculated. This is especially true when it comes to how we’re flaunting and flexing ourselves on dating apps.
What I’m trying to get at here is that at least a good chunk of this sample group would be swiping right on a car / fish profile, or are the posters of said photos.
These stats simply raise more questions, so here’s my analysis as to which is actually hotter once and for all.
Car Photos
There are so many factors that could play into this one. I’m not really a ‘car person’ or a ‘rev head’ if you will. I kind of get the fascination though – there’s something kind of old-school rebellious about someone who drives a 1960’s Mustang.
First of all, if someone takes a photo with their car, is it automatically implied that they own the vehicle? Owning a car is something to flex for sure. If you want to boast about that on your Tinder profile, go for it.
I hate to be shallow, but I do think the kind of car it is plays a huge role here – I know I don’t have to explain that there’s a big difference between a Maserati and Mazda.
The type of pose also matters as well. The lean-on-the-bonnet type screams gaslighter. The crouch next to the door could mean mummy issues.
In extreme circumstances, if it’s just a photo of a car without a human present, it’s an immediate red flag. Throw your phone into the ocean and pretend you never saw it. Run.
Fishing Photos
I’m personally biased on this one because I think fishing is disgusting. The thought of sitting on a dingy little boat in the middle of a dirty lake or river while developing nasty heat stroke, all to catch one measly little fish, is pathetic.
It’s inherently un-hot as an activity.
However, there is something kind of ~rustic~ about being able to forage off the earth. Fishing also implies that you went with a social group, and having friends is hot too.
I guess water-based activities are rather steamy as well and using a fishing photo as your profile pic implies you’re ready to get sweaty and salty with ya boo.
The verdict?
I couldn’t come to a conclusion, so I threw it out to my colleagues for some further insight by posting a poll in Slack.
EVEN SPLIT. 50 / 50. HOW.
I guess we’ll never truly know.
The internet is a big, wide, and sometimes scary place, so if posting photos of your car and fishing trip triumphs makes you happy, who the heck am I to say otherwise?
I, for one, have posted many cringe things across various profiles in the past. The classic 2016 Snapchat dog filter was a staple across all my profiles. I made Justin Bieber-hate Facebook pages regrettably in 2009. That made me happy at the time, and that’s what it’s all about.
Post your cars, post your fish, use it as your calling card, and The One might come knocking.
