Life can be one giant awkward situation, so we’ve teamed up with Sprite to help y’all stay cool, calm and collected and just own it aye. Whether it’s bumping into an ex, nutting out the prickly office politics of a new job or deciding how to finish off a first date, they’ll make you feel refreshed at heck after cutting through that heat. Head to their Facey HERE to see why y’all #needasprite for uncomfy moments.
Ex, noun; informal:
1. A human reminder that you were suckered into that love stuff once upon a time, and – like many things in this life – so miserably failed at it.
2. The bane of your existence.
A nice ol’ encounter with the ex, as we get older and accrue more n’ more, is a pretty high possibility in this life. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE, like friggin’ magpies who want to rip your eyes out for the lols.
You mighn’t be able to wear an ice cream container on your head to fight the exes off, but P.TV can give you some tips to ensure the beings don’t suck anymore life from outta you.
CONFRONT THE SITCH
If you’ve seen them, chances are they’ve seen you too, and remember how good your peripheral vision is from the assorted sporting games they had to watch you play. Be the bigger person and say hello, because otherwise it’ll be in the back of your head – just like the iron that you may or may not have turned off before leaving home – for the rest of the day / night / however long you choose to spend at the given destination you’re both politely sharing.
Besides, If you’re feeling / looking good, then luck is on your side and you can subtly smother the fact that you’re, you know, a babe, in their face. Plus, they’ve probably seen you at your worst anyway (having dated you and all), which means you’re up one notch from your last encounter, you know? Own it ay.
AVOID PHYSICAL CONTACT
The two of you used to do a whole helluva lot more than shake hands, so don’t do that upon greeting, but, hey, don’t press your bits up against theirs via a bear hug either. While it’s tempting to remind them what they’re missing, that act works both ways, honey, and you might wind up craving their goods too.
A slight hug – maybs even a kiss on the cheek – should do the trick. Don’t fall into familiar territory. We reckon Orlando Bloom and human goji berry Miranda Kerr tackled it properly during this awks encounter tbh:
KEEP YOUR HANDS EMPTY
I’ve been lucky enough to witness two exes bumping into each other, one of which was holding his phone. Made it reeaaaaalllll easy to identify his nerves, considering his phone looked like it was on vibrate, thanks to a serious case of the shakes. Needless to say, the person on the receiving end won that ex encounter for simply masking her freakout like a pro. Know your weaknesses and cover them. Get all hot n’ heavy in awkward situations? Keep your sweaty pits covered by not raising your arm sporadically, take a sip of summin’ to help you take a breath and cool down etc.
KEEP IT SHORT & SWEET
The longer the encounter goes on, the higher the chance of embarrassing yourself. Don’t hang around long enough to find out about how good their life is without you or what their new bae’s name is. Ain’t nobody got time or the mental capacity for that. Get in and get out like a good old-fashioned Hokey Pokey dance-off.
YOU’RE MORE TRANSPARENT THAN YOU THINK
Telling them how insanely amazing your new working gig is or how you’ve moved to the big smoke is kind of like saying, “OH HAI I’M DYING WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE SO AM TRYING TO MAKE YOU THINK I’M NOT.” One-upping is cooked. Just, don’t. Success is only the best revenge if you’re humble about it yo’.
KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES
Don’t ask them about their mum. Or their dog. Or their anxiety. This information was reserved for you when you were, you know, a part of their life, and you’re not that anymore so back the heck up. Also, don’t dredge up the past ’cause you may get in a blue or rehash old, ugly emotions and say something you don’t mean.
IF IT’S AWKWARD AF, JUST ADMIT IT
Sarcasm as a defence mechanism is the oldest trick in the book and works wonders to cut that tension. A lil’ joke can take the weight off and put the convo into more comfy territory. Sweat dropping down your forehead? Be like, “Haha you’re making me sweat.” They start talking about a new partner? Be all, “Well isn’t this a fun conversation to be having.” Screw it.
As the great Kelly Clarkson once said: “Take a risk, take a chance, and breakaway.“
LOL NO WONDER I’M SINGLE WITH 3,000 EXES.
You gotta own those awks situations in life people, because, like exes, THEY’RE EVERYWHERE. Next time ya’ #needasprite to calm ya’ farm and cool down – whether that’s running into an old flame, sending a text message to the wrong person or tackling a prickly topic – head HERE.
Photo: Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
