Be it asparagus adding a certain bitterness or pineapple making things sweeter, we’ve all heard the age-old rumours about certain members of the food group affecting the taste of one’s spunk. But how much validity is there to the notion that a vegan diet genuinely makes cum taste nicer? I deemed it necessary to launch a fruitful investigation.

So where to start? Dr Carol Queen.

Dr Queen spoke to Vice a few years back about food, in general, affecting the taste of sexual fluids. “Any kind of intake, whether it’s food, medication, or drink, can affect the flavour of your semen or vaginal fluid,” she told the publication. “Anything we smell or taste on the body is part of an excretory process… If you can tell a difference in someone’s body odour, then the likelihood is that you can tell about their sexual secretions, as well.”

What we ingest affects what we excrete – this makes sense. Still, Dr Queen noted at the time, there’s a lack of research on the matter, and accounts remain very anecdotal.

This sentiment is agreed upon by dietitian, counsellor, and author Lulu Cook, who spoke with PEDESTRIAN.TV about the relationship between diet and bodily fluids.

“There is very little research delineating the ‘taste’ or ‘flavour’ aspects of plant-based diets versus those that include meat and animal products,” Cook considers. “I can say that I’ve heard both personally (~ ahem) and professionally that plant-based diners have better tasting bodily fluids – less acrid, less bitter. More mellow, more sweet. But this is only anecdotal.”

“We do know that more meat-based diets can affect pH levels, microbiota [and] hormone levels in the body,” Cook notes, however, “and all of this can ultimately be expressed in the fluids we excrete.”

This argument is substantiated by research linking non-meat diets to more attractive bodily scents, like Jan Havlicek and Pavlina Lenochova‘s 2006 study “The effect of meat consumption on body odor attractiveness” and their findings suggesting that red meat consumption could negatively impact “perceived body odor hedonicity”.

Dr Karen Phillip, a counselling psychotherapist and naturopathic nutritionist, contends that a vegan diet may enhance “the taste and smell of bodily fluids” due to the alkalinity of foods without meat and dairy.

“Most vegan diets are high in alkaline foods rather than acidic foods most average people eat,” Dr Phillip tells PEDESTRIAN.TV. “Acidic foods include meats, milk, cheese, alcohol, sugars. When the system is acidic our body fluids are less desirable. When eating and consuming mainly alkaline foods, vegetable, fruits, our system is more Ph balanced and the taste and smell of body fluids more acceptable and pleasant.”

When it comes to the taste of semen, Dr Phillip becomes more dubious: “Semen is alkaline so having an acidic system may possibly affect the taste but the alkalinity level is quite high so even with a slightly acidic system it is unlikely to change the taste much, perhaps only slightly.”

A change in semen taste may be less directly linked to certain particular foods, and more so about how one’s diet affects the way they metabolise, react to, and excrete food. This’d probably impact the way our sexual excretions would taste, right? As Cook notes, “We are complex systems that can be in or out of balance health-wise, and this is expressed in our energy levels, our physical qualities, our libidos…and possibly in the taste or odour of our body secretions.”

Still, accounts remain – to repeat a word we’ve now come to now and love – anecdotal. So, even though there’s a lack of empirical research about being vegan and have lovely-tasting cum, a whole bunch of people swear by it on the ‘net. So, hey, why not add a pineapple to your trolley? No harm in trying.