Here at PEDESTRIAN.TV, we love fucked, horny content. It’s truly our bread and butter. But every so often, I stumble across something that is even too fucked for me.

Today, it’s ‘Too Full To Fuck‘ – an excerpt from Cazzie David’s new book, which was republished in The Cut. And honestly, if I had to read it, you do too.

“For straight couples, there is one key difference be­tween sex for the male and for the female: a woman gets a penis inserted into her while a man gets to insert his penis into someone else,” the excerpt begins, serving nothing but cold, hard facts.

“But from what I’ve discovered, only one gender has to save room in her body if a penis is to go into it — mean­ing that sometimes, if you’ve eaten a hearty meal, there isn’t enough room for a penis.”

Now, this is where I have to disagree with Cazzie. It’s my firm political belief that you can only be too full to fuck if you’re partaking in a rear rendezvous. In that case, it’s just basic science.

You know, what goes in must come out, and blah, blah, blah, we’re not going down *that* track here.

“Sure, women can eat and then have sex. But they really can’t eat a lot. You know the saying “You can always make room for dessert”? Well, you can’t always make room for a dick. Especially if you’ve eaten dessert,” Cazzie writes.

Honestly, I feel really sorry for anyone who has to make the choice between dessert and dick. I imagine it’s like choosing your favourite child. To quote my favourite Old El Paso ad, por que no los dos? Why can’t you have your cake *and* some dick too?

Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule, like when you eat something that upsets your stomach and the idea of riding a dick makes you quite literally feel like you’re going to vomit. But I wouldn’t personally call this being *too full* to fuck.

As I do with all of my important life decisions and/or questions, I took to Twitter to find the answer. And paint me green and call me a pickle, it looks like being too full to fuck *is* a thing, or at least within my small circle of friends who responded to my Twitter poll about fucking at 9am on a Thursday.

Like… The overwhelming response was a loud YES.

So maybe, Cazzie was on to something when she said:

“I do not have room in my stomach for a full dinner, two handfuls of cream, and a penis.”

I mean it when I say, this has been a learning experience for me – a fucked up learning experience – but a learning experience nonetheless. And for that, Cazzie, I must thank you.

If cursed content is your bread and butter, you can read Cazzie’s whole book, NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS: Essays by Cazzie David.

Image: New York - Katie McCurdy