For decades there has been a scientific explanation for pretty much every human phenomenon and behaviour that exists. So naturally, there would be one that explains which day of the week we’re most hornt up, hot and hungry for hole, right? One TikToker has done the research, finding the most optimal horny hour for you to hunt for something hard.
According to TikTok user “G” (@greasycurtainbangs), there are very specific days in the week when people are the most ravenous for rawdogging. Thus, you should utilise this period of time and put yourself OUT there on dating apps.
Thes days when everyone is most perfectly puckered? Thursday and Sunday. Don’t worry, there’s a very valid explanation as to why.
“Thursday is happy horny: everyone’s excited for the weekend, they’re gearing up and trying to find matches to go out with,” said G.
“Sunday, everyone’s getting introspective. They’re considering their death, their mortality, who they’re gonna watch House of the Dragon with.”
To test out this theory G used Hinge, and super-boosted herself on both these days to see which was most effective.
Ultimately, G received 42 likes on Sunday and 35 on Thursday, showcasing that optimising on everyone’s sad horny moods is best. Fuck the nihilism away, I guess?
Folks in the comments agreed there’s indeed something special about Sunday.
“One of my prompts is Sunday brunch plans. I’ve never seen so many men arrange an actual date,” one wrote.
However, to fully test out her theory, she decided to do the same on Monday morning.
The result? A heaping 54 likes.
“In a shocking turn of events it turns out Monday morning is the horniest time of the week. My entire scientific method is disproved,” said G.
Turns out Sunday night and Monday morning are the best times to get on the apps. Maybe the Monday gang are lurking online to find someone after failing over the weekend? Or maybe the Sunday sads lead them to the couch to eat ice cream and binge Veep instead?
One commenter suggested a reason why Monday morning was so successful.
“They’re all avoiding work by browsing Hinge lol,” they wrote.
You know what, I reckon that’s the truth. Maybe Monday morning gets more likes out of boredom but Sunday and Thursday see more likes out of horndoggery?
Hopefully one of these three days proves fruitful in your endeavours for someone to spit in your mouth. What better to do on the Lord’s day?