Hello, my fellow singles-with-married-mates. Maybe you’re not even single, maybe you’re just not at the stage of contemplating ‘forever’, or perhaps you’ve made the more and more common choice not to get married and therefore have saved yourself some – but probably not all – of the following annoying questions. Or maybe you’re just phenomenally clueless – it’s ok, no judgment here.

At any rate, turns out we’re all asking a bunch of things of the recently wed that’s annoying the heck out of them. I asked around the married portion of the office to shed some light on the matter.

1. How’s Married Life?

Can I just say I had literally no idea this one would be annoying? To me, it’s basically the same as asking ‘How’s life?’ but with a topical slant. WRONG. Several married people said I absolutely had to include this question on the ‘do not ask’ list, so here it is right at the top.

Typically speaking, married couples have been together for quite some time and statistically have already been living together. So it’s pretty unlikely married life is any different to long-term relationship life.

2. How’s Your Sex Life Now?

Wait, what? Why are we asking this particularly of married people? Is this not obviously extremely awkward? I guess it has something to do with the old-fashioned idea that they’re married now so sex is ‘ok’ and therefore can be talked about? If so then I have a sorely needed news flash for you: most married couples have already had sex, probably with other people before each other.

3. How Much Did The Wedding Cost?

See also ‘how much was the dress’ and ‘who paid for the wedding’. Talking about money is still quite the taboo in our society, and just because that money was spent on a wedding is not a reason to skip out on the pleasantries and ask deeply personal questions.

I totally get being curious, because they seem to cost a damn fortune and I don’t understand how everyone magically finds the money for it. But it’s simply a case of having to mind your own business.

4. Why Did You Invite *Insert Name Here*?

I am laughing so hard that this is something married/ about to be married people actually get asked. I get that I’m lucky enough to have a family that actually gets along and I’ve never bothered with that frenemy ridiculousness so maybe his is just far outside my realm of experience. But come on.

If you’re not one of the people getting married you don’t get a say in the guest-list. Keep yo’ beef to yo’self.

5. Do You Like The In-Laws?

On that note, apparently, we’re all asking newly-weds if they’re a fan of their new in-laws. Let’s just assume that if they consider you a good enough friend, you’re already fully aware of their thoughts and feelings regarding the in-laws. If you don’t know, sorry you’re defs not the bestie and just assume they’re not going to open up about it to you.

6. When Are You Having Babies?

This should be pretty easy to grasp, considering it’s the couple equivalent of ‘so are you still single?’. Hopefully, you don’t even need to be told this one because surely we’ve all realised our society has progressed passed the get-married-get-white-picket-fence-get-breeding expectations of yore.

If/ when they decide to have a baby or 10 you can expect that Instagram announcement – you know, just like they did with the engagement ring. Until then, assume it’s not your concern.

Image: Instagram / [@sophiet]