Welcome back to the next episode of “oddly satisfying but totally unproven social theories”. This week, we’re upping the ante and delving into something that could probably be viewed as borderline sinister — the “one night relationship” theory.
Earlier this week, TikToker Christina Zozulya published this doozy of a video which, at the time of writing, has clocked nearly half a million views.
Now, before you ask the obvious question “is a one night relationship the same as a one night stand?”, as Christina explains the answer is a little more complex than a simple yes or no.
@christinazozulya the one night relationship theory 👀 #dating #casualdatinglife #collegedating #relationships #datingtheory #datingadviceforwomen #fypシ
“One of my best girlfriends and I were having lunch and she was complaining to me about how this guy that she hooked up with was super open and vulnerable with her when they were hooking up,” she begins.
“But then she saw him at a party and he didn’t even acknowledge her presence.
“What she couldn’t understand was, if he did want just something casual, why did he feel the need to share every intimate part of his life, trauma dump, seek counsel?”
Christina then passes on a bit of knowledge, courtesy of one of her guy friends.
“They [blokes] crave love, intimacy, connection,” she continues.
“When there are just so many options and they’re still adventurous and looking to hook up and have fun, they’re not gonna commit to something full time.
“But what they will do is act like they’re in a relationship for a night. During this night, they’ll cuddle you, they’ll trauma dump, they’ll hold your hand, they tell you all their deepest darkest secrets. Then the next day they might not even say hello to you.”
Hmmm.
Is that giving anyone déjà vu?
Let’s break it down, starting off by clarifying how a one night relationship differs from a one night stand.
As Christina explains, a one night relationship simulates, either intentionally or unintentionally, the emotional intimacy and verbal trust you’d expect from a committed relationship — albeit, one-sided. This is to say, one person dumps while the other person simply receives the dump.
On the other hand, a one night stand is geared toward mutual (hopefully, lol) physical pleasure, without the expectation of sharing more profound and personal information with one another.
A one night relationship is, therefore, a classic example of wanting to have your cake and eat it too.
It’s fair enough that blokes open up about their feelings, but unless it’s an urgent, life-or-death situation, we owe the people with whom we’re sharing that info a few prior considerations.
Things like, whether they’re emotionally equipped to deal with what you tell them, whether you’re better off sharing these thoughts with a professional, and lastly (but most importantly) — is she going to take your openness as a sign of romantic interest, rather than a somewhat selfish desire to get a few things off your chest?
In other words, it’s 2023. You’ve gotta be thinking a few steps ahead.
Take care of your mental health. Yes. But not at the expense of a woman who, with the best of intentions, has let you trauma dump on her because she thinks you’re down for something long-term.
The lesson of the day is to try and make your expectations clear, and ensure your emotional and physical exchanges as mutual and balanced as possible.
Don’t just dump all over an unsuspecting person. That’s disgusting … in any context.
If you’re keen for more spicy relo content, suss out PEDESTRIAN.TV’s Sex + Dating section. There’s plenty more where this came from!
