Imagine being too hot for dating apps. Sounds like a terrible problem to have, right? Well for a group of models, existing on dating apps is nearly impossible. And yes it’s actually because they are too hot. Icon behaviour.

If you’re looking for love on dating apps the last thing you want to happen is for the app to boot you the fuck off. If you’re absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, however, you apparently run the risk of this problem a lot.

Dating apps are quite efficient at booting out people who look like fake bots. So, if you look too perfect you might cop a couple of reports from either sceptical losers or jealous people who aren’t hot. Either way, your mesmerising looks can actually cockblock you. Bummer.

Hasn’t happened to me though, I’m not on dating apps. Some people are so hot they missed that train.

A group of models spoke to News.com.au for an article with questionable wording about their experiences getting repeatedly booted from apps. As a homosexual, I hope to rectify the wording mistakes of the (alleged) straighties. Moving on!

“I was on the app for not even a few hours because pictures I tried posting to my profile were removed even though they were normal photos,” Playboy model and DJ Tahlia Paris said.

“It happened three or four times to different pictures and Bumble only allowed one of my pictures to stay up, which was really hurting my odds in the dating app world.

“The photos I posted very were basic. One was a selfie of myself, one was a picture a friend of mine had taken at the beach.

“I tried to keep it very PG and not model-esque at all. I wanted guys to not stop at my profile because I’m a professional model but because I was just another average girl looking to date.”

Alaw Haff, a model who claims she was booted from Tinder twice, once in 2020 and once in 2021, Bumble in 2020 and Hinge in 2021. At that point, my god complex would be so overwhelmed I’d just call myself too hot for dating.

“I had problems with a couple of my pictures so I’d just replace them with others,” she said.

“I would never post anything offensive but it’s hard to find a picture of myself wearing clothes when 90 per cent of my pictures are in lingerie or swimwear due to my work.”

Folks, let people be hot on the apps! Stop reporting them because they look like models. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, they actually are?

If you need me I’m going to be downloading all the dating apps and seeing how long it takes for them to kick off my gorgeous self. An exercise in extreme narcissism, if you will.