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I recently had a chat with an environmentally-conscious mate of mine about recycling and sustainability (riveting stuff, obviously) and he mentioned that if he sees someone drinking coffee out of a disposable cup they immediately became less attractive to him.

This was news to me. I mean, yes, I’m nowhere near as environmentally conscious as he is, admittedly, but I’d never really considered a correlation between environmental practices and levels of hotness. Until now.

My very-single self began to ponder. Do Keep Cups inherently make people more attractive? Are reusable glass coffee cups the secret to making us sexier human beings? Does it enhance someone’s pre-existing sexiness? If I walk around with a Keep Cup for a week, could I find a husband?

That last question aside, I took to the trusty cyberwebs to ask around: if you saw someone bringing their own Keep Cup to a cafe, does it make them more attractive?

“Yasss,” Claire responded. “Some sex God of a human being brings his Keep Cup in and I’m like, hayyy.”

“YES. 10000%,” Eliza added. “Particularly if they’re NOT corporate (branded keep cups are the new promotional USB.”

“Love an environmental daddy,” she added.

Things then kicked into second gear: “I think a mug is so sexy,” Clay answered.

Ooooft. Now we’re talking – if a Keep Cup is a metaphorical semi, a mug is full-blown, unashamed, rock-hard boner.

At this point, I think it’s important to acknowledge that Keep Cups obviously won’t save the world, nor are they the be-all and end-all solution to our climate crisis. After all, as my lovely co-worker David once articulated, “every time you lift a Keep Cup to your lips, there’s probably someone glad you channelled your climate anxiety where it can’t hurt them.”

That being said, a Keep Cup can signify something. It may insinuate that, to some degree, the person holding a Keep Cup is interested in implementing environmentally friendly practices, other than a Keep Cup, into their daily routine. And I think it’s this factor that many find most attractive, particularly if you’re passionate about sustainability, yourself.

As said by Luca, “more than a Keep Cup, being environmentally [conscious] is hot as fuck and makes me moist as.”

I think it’s also important to note that many simply do not give a fuck whether a person is holding a Keep Cup or not. In fact, most people who don’t give a fuck would’ve given a similar level of fucks about responding to my call-out about whether people gave a fuck. They’re a silent majority, just out there in the abyss, not giving a fuck.

If there is a take-away, though, it’s that there’s a growing number of people who do care. People are starting to switch on to the idea of everyday sustainable practices, as little as they may be.

Or maybe the takeaway is this, courtesy of Zoanne: “Only if they’re already hot.”

Could be that.