Anyone who’s single finds the early stages of a relationship, while fun and exciting, among the most confusing. You don’t know if they’re into you in the way you are them (and can’t ask for fear of being labelled stage-five), find yourself second-guessing every unanswered message, and wonder whether or not you gave “it” up too soon.
But I feel like the video dating encouraged during self-isolation (there’s literally a video call function on Bumble right now) could help the traditional mindfuck. The primary purpose of these dates is for connection – because you’re not getting a whole lot more via a screen – and look, I reckon that changes the game entirely.
Hear me out.
You have to keep your hands to yourself
Physical chemistry is a very real thing, but makes it hard to know if a relationship even has substance alongside that charged attraction. This only becomes more complex when you act on said attraction and develop an emotional bond with that person regardless of whether or not they stimulate you mentally. Come on, we’ve all been there.
Sure, you can be attracted to someone over a screen, but all you’re really capable of doing is talking. There aren’t any physical interruptions when figuring out whether or not that person is actually likeable. Even ~ in real life ~, the best relationships are the ones where you realise it’s 5am and haven’t even kissed yet, but still want to, am I right? I’m right.
It’s far more relaxed
Going on online dates during this time, you’re actually inviting someone into your home and that’s hugely personal. If you think about how much more at ease, comfortable and relaxed you feel the minute you walk through your door after a long day at work, that’s exactly what you’re able to give another during these times, and receive back in return.
In a lot of ways, it’s a truer version of yourself, even if you do tidy up your room pre-date to give off the impression you’re organised, and there’s less incremental relaxing throughout the relationship, should it blossom. Keeping up expectations is hard, so you can make them achievable nice and early this way.
People are opening up more
Let’s be honest, small talk like “how was your day” and “what are you up to this weekend” isn’t really flying at the moment. And I’m all for it, because nothing bores me more than avoiding open and honest conversations that’ll allow you to really get to know someone.
The coronavirus also brings up a lot of feelings. A lot of disruptions to your everyday life. It’s the perfect opportunity to really show a softer, more raw side of what you’re all about and where your priorities lie. And you know what? It’s nice to not have to wait until the third date to do so.
It might be a bit of an adjustment at first, but one that could be really worth figuring out. I’ve seen existing relationships blossom and burn during isolation, but it could actually be a good time to build the foundation of a new one while it’s contextually different.
It’s a good excuse to stop procrastinating about making the first move too, because hopefully we’ll be out there physically sooner rather than later. Hit that video call button.
And come out of iso with a hot tamale.