How To Fast Track A Tinder Date If Online Banter Ain’t Really Your Jam

Relationships are all about speeding up the process. When you’re on a date you wanna fast forward to the part where you mack on. Then you wanna get to the officially dating part. Then you’d like to skip to the bit where they propose. But before any of that nonsense starts? Well, you’ve gotta get over a little hurdle otherwise known as dating app banter.

You may have recently heard a little, albeit long winded, story about 2 x Tinderonis who were on the chat for three whole years before they wound up meeting. Three. Flippin’. Years.

The worst part is, when they finally teed up a meeting it was crap. Wasted time. I’m not here for it. Hopefully by reading the below you’ll never wind up in the realm of time better spent. How? By turning that online banter into a legit date quick smart.

DROP THE DIGITS EARLY ON

Some people aren’t cut out for Tinder back and forth. Does that mean that they’re not the love of your life? Not necessarily. Some of the best banter people ever have online eventuates into a wet blanket of a conversation in real life, or vice versa. The best way to find out, and quick, is to cut the conversation foreplay short by just jumping right to the date part.

Getting asked out is almost never going to happen in your dating app convo, so the best way to progress is to exchange the digits. If you’re looking for a natural and, well, highly predictable solution, try the trusty “I never check this thing, here’s my number.” It’s basically code for please invite me somewhere or I’m outtie.

REPLY IN A TIMELY MANNER

Time between replies will be the death of your potential relationship. It’s too hard to pick up momentum when there are hours, days or, god forbid, even months or years in between texts. I get that we all have demanding lives and such but you’re just not gonna get anywhere with that damn-lazy approach. Besides, if it’s taking you that long to write back, let’s be honest, you’re probably not all that interested to begin with.

However, if you’re both replying fairly quickly, you could even get to the bit where you ask each other out in a much smaller time frame. Basically, your success rate’s going to be a hell of a lot higher should you be more punctual on the app front. Turn your notifications on and remember that legit everyone with a private part is on a dating app nowadays. We’re all in this together. Just banter a bit. Because, well, it’s just an unfortunate fact of human existence now, apparently.

MAKE IT KNOWN IN YOUR BIO

Bios are really annoying things to deal with. Do I sound la-mé? Do I come across too keen? Does including my height make me superficial? WHO KNOWS. Thing is, you don’t want to have an overly extensive bio that’s witty, punny and whatnot, but not be able to match it when it gets to match / banter time. You *can* be upfront and explain you’re not one for smalltalk in the bio. We’ve all seen it, and I myself have swiped right on some dudes who, more or less, say they’d like to skip to the part where we go on a date. Some will be into it and some won’t, but like, speak your truth.

GET A SMIDGE STALKY

If banter’s not in your blood, scope their Insta or Facebook to see what they’re into. Perhaps you’ve got a common interest. Maybe you’re attending the same gig next week. Finding common ground is a sure-fire way to get a date cracking. Beats finding out about them the, ugh, normal way.

JUST DO IT

As my Deputy Editor so eloquently puts it,  “Just say ‘we should get a drink sometime’ like a normal person.” Fact of the matter is, someone’s going to have to bite the bullet. If they reckon it’s all a bit much too soon, there’s plenty more right swipes where that came from. If banter’s not your jam, what other choice do you really have, anyway?

Happy swipe, happy life.

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