In 2020, every human (regardless of sexual orientation or age) (over 18, please) deserves to own a butt plug. There. I said it.

Butt plugs aren’t a new phenomenon by any means, but why is now the time to become a proud butt plug owner? Great question, friend. In the spirit of Mardi Gras season, let’s shine light into the crevice of truth.

Firstly, 2020 is the year of not being afraid of sexuality and, when I say sexuality, I mean exploring our own bodies without fear. Because many folk are still gripped with fear when it comes to the unknown associated with their nether region’s orifices. And this is damn shame because a) it’s literally your own body, and b) this fear could be holding you back from experiencing a pleasure unbeknownst to you at this point in time. In the the age of self-love and sexual liberation, there’s been no better time to remove the stigma of anal play and welcomed, unashamed exploration.

With this in mind, a butt plug is a masterful tool of bussy enlightenment and is a great way to help train the anal sphincter for anal sex, if that’s something you’re keen on. As explained in our ultimate to guide to best prepare the bussy for the boom boom, we have an internal sphincter that is involuntary, which means that anal penetration is mighty painful if you aren’t relaxed. This is where the butt plug comes in – it can be a great to train your muscles for penetration.

“I struggled with bottoming for years until one day when my boyfriend at the time found an old butt plug in my toy drawer,” OUT Magazine‘s Alexander Cheves recounts.” I had used it maybe once before. He wanted to try it in me. I bent over, gave him a big gob of silicone lube, and told him to go as slow as possible… Over several months we did this, maybe once a week, gradually increasing speed until he could slam it in and out – fast. Then we got a bigger plug. I began to actually enjoy the feeling of something in my butt, and our sex took off.”

Yes, butt plugs are predominantly used by gay men, but it bears repeating that they are not exclusively reserved for gay men, nor does showing a vested interest in anal self-pleasure make you gay (that one’s for the straight men in the room). Despite popular opinion, we all have bums – they are universal openings that do not discriminate based on sexual orientation – meaning that we all have the opportunity to enjoy anal stimulation. Hooray.

At the very least, butt plugs make practical coat hangers, or, if the curvature is on point, a rather enjoyable back scratcher. So yep, they’re incredible for an eclectic array of beneficial reasons and everyone deserves one. 

When it comes to purchasing a beginner’s butt plug, a small silicone one is probably best. A word of warning, though: “If you are using toys or stimulators during anal play, make sure they include a base,” Loc Nguyen, ACON Peer Education Officer. “This is to stop them from being completely inserted. And will likely save you an embarrassing trip to the emergency department.”

Now, garn get it. Give it a crack. 

Bottom’s up. 

[Insert one more shitty pun here]

Check out some butt plugs below for further inspo.

Butt Tingler 10 Function Vibrating Butt Plug, 3.5 Inch

$34.95 from Lovehoney

Rocks Off Teazer Petite Sensations Beginner’s Vibrating Butt Plug

$34.95 from Lovehoney