Just Gonna Say It: Bring Back The Bush

‘Natural & ‘Normal’ are two words that are for the most part pretty closely connected and usually describe the same trait. For example, falling in love with Scottie Pippen while watching ‘The Last Dance’ is normal, falling in love with Scottie Pippen while watching ‘The Last Dance’ is natural – same difference. However, when it comes to female beauty standards of the 21st Century what is considered normal and what is natural are at literally the opposite ends of the beauty spectrum. Nice one 21st Century beauty standards! Why make it easy to just be normal when you can make it time consuming, expensive, stressful and perpetual? (Answer: capitalism). 

The man after a long hard day of making you feel insecure.

Female beauty standards have obviously been slipping further and further away from our natural state for hundreds of years. Everyone should have the right to look how they want to free of judgment, how did letting your body be in its natural state (underarm hair / full bush / lip hairs / whatever) end up as a radical statement?

For example when I’m sexually active, I get a Brazilian wax every month ($60 each time btw, sexual partners – care to contribute?) which costs me more money than my phone bill. All because it adheres to the beauty standard of today. Everyone I’ve ever slept with is surely aware I would grow hair down there, but showing it to someone? I couldn’t possibly. I’m aware that makes no sense and I hope you are too. So why do we bother with this song and dance??? It seems female beauty standards are in need of a a pole shift of epic proportions to correct it.

Until we get that pole shift, we have (drum roll please…) isolation. Isolation has acted as an accidental reset for our beauty maintenance habits, with our normal routines and regimes going up in smoke. With salons and waxing studios closed for business over the past eight weeks our bodies have been slowly shifting towards their more natural states. This is most obvious when it comes to body hair. 

A study by Theory Of Her, a New Zealand based female pleasure brand, found that 31% of us have embraced the iso way and are making friends with our pubes, half opting for a trim or DIY shave and the rest committing to the full bush during iso. I for one am loving this. Ingrown hairs, razor burn & itchiness all miss me hardcore and text often to which I respond: New iso puss who dis?

So great, the bush is suddenly back, but is it here to stay? Fucking hopefully – because as we often forget, it’s there for a reason (natural selection, ever heard of it??). Hair is there in the first place to protect you against infections. Basically, pubic hair works as a soft barrier against friction that can cause little cuts and injuries when you boink. There are even reports it helps block bacteria and foreign pathogens from getting up in your vajayjay. Basically, your pussy is independent AF and is willing to take care of herself if you leave her the fuck alone (like your actual puss).

Please leave me alone lol

All of this being said, obviously in this day and age it’s not AS important to keep your hair down there, if you don’t want to. I’m sure back in caveman times when we wore loincloths and were exposed to the elements more, our pubic hair worked harder for it’s money. It’s just weird we got to a point where it was like a BAD thing to keep it, no? Yes.

The few times I have ended up with a person unexpectedly (hey, it happens) and I have a little garden growing I have only ever gotten one reaction: nothing. People are just excited to get some pussy, honestly. It’s years of social culture – from advertising to trends to influencers and celebs who make us believe if our puss isn’t as smooth as peanut butter your sex partners will yeet out the window. Why? As I said above: capitalism. If we all loved and accepted ourselves for who we were from the day we were born the economy would literally collapse. Reality is more accepting than you expect. Only once a guy I was seeing asked me if I could shave for next time and I was so glad he did because I would never ever ever want to waste one more second with a person who had the nerve to tell me how I should present the body my mother made for me.

Another perk my friends, if you keep your garden growing, it shall reward you: “Pubic hair contains pheromones and these play a huge role in sexual arousal. When you have hair follicles intact, the sensations are heightened,” says Cat Howell, Co-Founder of Theory Of Her. Anything that keeps me horny I’m willing to put up with (case in point, my iso-boyfriend)

Me having to make small talk with my iso-boyfriend.

Normalise natural x