Bad breath. Sexism. Being a little too into astrology… we all have dating dealbreakers, whether we’re prepared to admit them or not. Some are about the big life stuff (wanting, or not wanting, kids), some are about values (homophobes can get in the bin), and others are about really minor stuff. Would you swipe left if someone was a Scorpio?
Obviously, some dating dealbreakers are bigger than others. Being on the same page about wanting babies (human or fur) is pretty crucial to the future happiness of both partners. Not wanting to ride the dick train all the way to bone town with a bigot is bloody fair enough.
Then others can be…. petty. Or unexpected. Dealbreakers you didn’t realise were dealbreakers until they hit you smack in the face.
I once broke up with a guy I was casually dating because he kept using my name in texts sent to me. He would say things like, “How was your day, Alex?” or, “What are you up to, Alex?”. It seems dumb, but I couldn’t get past the fact that he would use my name in texts messages that were literally being sent right to me. WHY? I am already reading your text. You sent it to me. This should not be confusing.
In an October 2015 study, five researchers embarked on a quest to find the most common dating dealbreakers. After interviewing 2,744 single American adults, they landed on the number one: a disheveled or unclean appearance.
In total, 63 percent of men and 71% of women said a scruffy look (and not in a hot way) would turn them off.
The next most common dealbreakers were: lazy, too needy, lacks a sense of humour, lived more than three hours away, bad sex (ouch), lacks self-confidence, too much TV or video games, low sex drive, and being stubborn.
But! This data is both five years old, and concerns Americans across a full range of ages. We wanted to find out what the biggest dating dealbreakers for Gen Z and millennial Aussies were right now. So for our latest 27 Pedestrians episode, we asked them exactly that.
A surprising theme emerged: almost no one gave the same answer. Some people went petty (“Liking Coldplay”), while others name-checked the big stuff (racism, homophobia, not being an intersectional feminist), but save a few, rare cases, almost no one gave the same answer.
“I want to get married and I want to have kids,” Claudes, 25, said (and he was the only one to do so).
“So if I’m dating a girl and she’s not maternal, and she’s like ‘Ew, babies’, no matter how hot she was, or how into her I was, I’d sack that.”
Isla said “Geminis”, which means she probably won’t be dating Harry (who doesn’t vibe with astrology) anytime soon.
New to 27 Pedestrians? It’s our six-month docuseries, where each week we ask the same 27 young Aussies questions we’ve either all wondered, or debated with friends. You know, stuff like ‘What’s your fetish?‘ and ‘Is Karen really a slur?‘. Normal things!
You can subscribe to our YouTube channel and never miss an episode right here.Image: Channel 7