Alright folks, grab your condoms and bananas.
Sex is one of those things that pretty much everyone partakes in, but folks still giggle about it behind their hands when they have to talk about the nitty gritty details. It’s taboo – stigmatised even – and that’s a damn shame because frankly sex can be pretty great if you have an open and honest dialogue about it.
And one of the biggest issues that rises (ayy) is that because we’re all so shy about the frick frack, we don’t ask questions in the one place you’re actually welcomed to: sex ed. My mum was a health teacher, so whenever I was curious about something I’d either ask her or go have a peek at her desk to see if there was a book on the topic.
But not everyone is so lucky. If you’re curious and too shy to ask, here are a few questions that people have been afraid to ask. We’ve got you.
Can you take it up the butt and vaginally at the same time?
Is it possible? Yes. Is it something you should work up to? Absolutely. Whether it’s two penises, one penis and a dildo or even two hands (we won’t judge), double penetration is something that can require a lot of time and patience to achieve safely – and lube. So, so, so much lube. When you think you’ve got enough? Add a little more just for funsies. But ultimately – yes you can.
Can you have sex while the girl is on her period?
You bet your crampy little soul you can. Period sex can get a little messy, sure, but it’s entirely possible and it’s been reported that it may actually help ease a girl’s cramps. Just try it in the shower or lay down some towels (maybe not your nicest fluffy white ones), and naturally, use a condom. It’s not gross or dirty, it’s just a fact of life – have at it all month long, folks.
Does having sex while pregnant bump the baby’s head?
The simple answer to this is: NO. During pregnancy, the baby develops inside the uterus. The bottom of the uterus (the cervix) is the part that widens during labour, to allow the baby to be born. But, rest assured that when you are getting jiggy, the cervix is ‘closed’ so to speak, and so there is no way you’re going to bump the baby.
How much does it hurt when you lose your virginity?
This one’s a tricky one to answer because honestly it varies person to person. Sex shouldn’t be very painful (unless you’re into that, and even then it should be practiced safely and consensually), so as long as you use enough lube and are both turned on, you shouldn’t have too much pain. That said, it is entirely dependant on your preferences and pain tolerance.
A timely reminder though: ‘looseness’ and ‘tightness’ have nothing to do with whether someone is a virgin or has had many partners. Don’t be judgey, don’t be a douche.
Why are penises so different?
The fun, special thing about humans is that you could swap out the word ‘penises’ for literally any other body part and this question would still be applicable. We’re all different and there’s no real reason that one penis looks different to another (unless you happen to have a sexually transmitted infection, that is), just like there’s no real reason that you have a specific type of nose.
Can a guy accidentally pee into a girl?
Look, yes, it’s possible. Just because you’re occupied doesn’t mean your bladder realises, so in the same way that you could piss your pants any other time, you could conceivably take a whiz mid-sesh. The issue with this (apart from possible embarrassment) is that a bit of stray pee can mess with the vagina’s pH levels, so just try and pee before you get down, if you can manage.
How can a guy with a really small dick have sex?
Approximately 0.6% of people with peens actually have micropenises, which are when your dick is regarded as 2.5 deviations smaller than the average. The big thing to remember here is that penetrative sex is just one element of a fun sex life – even if it doesn’t work, there are so many other ways to pleasure yourself and someone else. You’ve got ten fingers and a tongue, right?
What do you do if you can’t get it up?
It happens – even if you’re super into the babe you’ve brought home (and sometimes especially then). Whether it’s a question of low libido, external factors or just straight up erectile dysfunction, sometimes your junk just does not want to cooperate.
If the issue is libido, try a lil’ Horny Goat Weed to get you going. And going. Hell yeah.Image: iStock / LuminaStock