The first thing you need to know when fucking someone with your stump, double amputee Kath Duncan tells PEDESTRIAN.TV, is to be in a safe environment with someone you trust.
Then comes the foreplay. And lube – lots of lube.
“Just really lubing up the arm stump and doing what you would do if were a person wanting to fuck a chick, which is that you start talking dirty […] and playing with her clit,” she explains.
Kath is a congenital double amputee, meaning she was born with approximately half of her left arm and half of her right leg. She featured in the latest season of the ABC’s You Can’t Ask That, and was the only interviewee who said yes to having fucked someone with their stump.
The arts researcher and disability rights activist first heard about stump sex as a teenager, when her mum bought her a book called Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask).
“I’d never imagined such a fucking thing,” Kath said.
“Being able to use those parts of my body in any fashion during sex was just really foreign to me, and I was intrigued.”
As an adult, Kath has gotten with quite a few different stump fetishists. One guy even gave her stump something akin to a blowjob.
But it wasn’t until over a decade later that her then-girlfriend (a “big, butch, gorgeous, shapely” woman) reignited that stump-fucking spark in person.
She hasn’t yet penetrated a guy with her stump – not for a lack of willing participants – but it’s definitely on her bucket list.
Kath’s arm stump has a residual elbow which means she can move the very tip of her stump inside her partner for a “very climactic, g-spotish moment.” However, the bone that comes with such a joint means she can’t actually penetrate too deep.
“So unlike a penis, it doesn’t have that sort of real flexibility,” she said.
Yet unlike a dildo, her beautiful, fleshy stump is still warm and receptive to things like tightness and wetness – “I think flesh has an edge.”
While her stump is sensitive, that’s not what that gets Kath off. Arousal is arousing, she explained.
“Did I cum [from fucking someone with my stump]? No. But did I really enjoy doing this? Yes.”
Kath’s number one tip for young amputees isn’t about technique (you’ll figure that out as you go) but rather about community.
It’s not common to fuck someone with your stump, so finding the right sexual partner is a must. Websites like FetLife are a decent place to see who’s out there, but even in those circles there are plenty of weirdos who don’t take stump fetishes – or sex and consent in general – seriously.
If you’re not an amputee but you’re keen for someone to fuck you with their stump, just remember to be normal and respectful about it. Everyone’s different and not every amputee appreciates having their stump fetishised.
That said, Kath herself says she’s very much into being consensually objectified because of her stump.
At the end of our chat, I thanked Kath for not only taking time out of her day, but also for “opening up” about such a personal topic.
Her response was classic: “Hah, so to speak!”
Season 6 of You Can’t Ask That, including the amputee episode, is available now on ABC iview.
