6 Science-Backed First Date Convo Starters To Save You From Dying Alone

In 2006, tween box-office hit She’s The Man taught us what not to say when talking to your crush.
Don’t talk about cheese. Even if it’s the centrepiece of your life. Even if your favourite is gouda.
Ten years on, we’ve whacked together a scientifically-backed list of the six things you should be talking about on a date to up your chances of having a super groovy time. 
1. Talk about travel*
In his book Quirkology: How We Discover the Big Truths in Small Things, psychologist Richard Wiseman makes a point that all of us already knew to be true: like listening to others talk about their dreams, talking about movies is b o r i n g.
“When talking about movies, less than 9 percent of the pairs wanted to meet up again, compared to 18 percent when participants spoke about the top topic—travel,” he says.
Going into detail about the debauchery that went down on last year’s Sail Croatia trip will make you feel good, and in turn, more attractive to your partner.
*Unless that travel was a P&O cruise in Grade 4. Maybe keep that one in the vault for the 2nd date.
2. Keep the conversation going, and flowing
This one’s a pretty “duh” point, but bear with me. 
In their aptly named study, Smooth Operating: A Structural Analysis of Social Behavior (SASB) Perspective on Initial Romantic Encounters, researchers Finkel, Eastwick, and Saigal found that dalliances where one partner dominated the conversation, or didn’t contribute at all, were more awkward.
choon
They found that avoiding extremes and instead listening and responding to your date’s responses with warm interest creates smoothness and ease. Smoothness and ease = good times for everyone.
3. Let them in on a few of your secrets
Vulnerability can be endearing. Particularly when it’s reciprocated. 
You might have heard of this one before, but a bloke in the US named Arthur Aron (a psych at the State University of New York, no less) came up with a thirty-six question, forty-five minute interaction designed to accelerate the powerful feelings of connection.
He found that 30% of students who participated in date scenarios created a bond stronger than some of their lifelong friendships. 
Some of the questions:
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

What is your most terrible memory?

Complete this sentence:”I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
(Some of those are definitely approaching max danger zone, but apparently they work a treat, if you’re up for the D&M of a lifetime.)
4. Keep that eye contact in the non-creepy realm 
This one’s not so much a conversation starter, but it certainly predicts how long a conversation will go for.
For ages we’ve been told that maintaining eye contact for as long as possible helps us come across as persuasive and strong. But this study shows that when we keep eye contact for too long, the other person might consider your death stare eye contact to be forced dominance, which is probably not the vibe you wanna dole out on a first date. 
Stick to around 7-10 seconds of eye contact at a time, and of course, don’t be staring at the doge outside the cafe when your date is mid-way through answering that loaded question you just asked about their childhood.
5. Screw boring, go controversial 
Supposedly, making people discuss interesting but divisive topics made for more enjoyable first date conversation.
walking into the date like
Behavioural economist Dan Ariely got a bunch on online daters and gave them a preset list of questions. Instead of these questions focusing on riveting topics like the weather or how many siblings one has, they were more vexed, like “how many people have you boned?” and “how did you lose your virginity?”

Both parties were happier with the interaction. Ariel concluded that when people are given free reign on what to talk about, they gravitate toward easy to maintain, banal crap. Instead, it’s more fun for everyone when them boundaries are pushed.
6. Want to do the mattress dance?
According to online dating platform OkCupid, there’s one single best predictor of whether chix or dudes will be willing to do sex on the date, and it’s this:
“Do you like the taste of beer?”

Beer guzzlers, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation, are 60% more likely to be alright swapping graving with someone they’ve just met.
Cheers to that.
Photo: Grease.

More Stuff From PEDESTRIAN.TV