While you might think you’re happy getting UberEats for one and relishing the opportunity to ‘really get to know the real you’, we’ve teamed up with AHM Health Insurance to convince you otherwise. They’ve got all the perks you want / need from a committed relationship, which you can find out more about HERE.
Before you bail – I’m not talking about the adorbs shit, like having someone to talk to after a rough day or having a snuggle buddy when you cbf’ed with a social life – I’m talking about the 24-hour assistance you didn’t know you needed.
I’ve asked my P.TV coworkers, as well as the limited friends I have left after high school (#NotManyIfAny), what’s so good about these relationships things. This is what they came up with / reckon are worth getting into one for:
1. An extra bank account never hurt anyone.
Everything if your life just became half price, you lot. From shared rent, to Netflix / Stan, household items and birthday / Christmas presents, this one’s gotta be among the best of the relo perks.
As P.TV’s Bryony Calleia puts it:
“You actually have a chance of owning a house one day.“
2. Your pain is their pain.
Bored? Hungover? Sick without it being self-inflicted? If you’ve nabbed a good squeeze, chances are they have to suffer with you.
“He has to come to all the boring family functions and therefore I have someone to entertain me during christenings, communions etc.” – Teagan King.
3. You just doubled your life possessions.
Their wardrobe. Their car. Their DVD collection. It’s all yours, baby.
“As a dude who’s dating a similarly-sized dude, the most materialistic perk of being in a relo has been my wardrobe doubling. People now say to me, ‘I love that jacket,’ rather than avoiding eye contact / ducking out of the room when I compliment their outfit thinking I’d want a compliment in return. Other than that, the hugs are nice.” – Sean Dillon
“His car becomes my car, which is kinda great because it’s a lush car.” – Teagan.
4. They can keep you on that straight and arrow… sometimes.
Just like a sponsor to an alcoholic, baes can make sure you’ve got your shit together when it comes to life choices. That is, if they too have their shit together.
If bae hates ciggies, you’ll smoke less. They’ll be your gym buddy. They’ll make you do that uni assignment / work preso that’s due tomorrow. They’ll make a healthy meal when you probs would’ve just gotten Menulog.
Disclaimer: THIS WORKS TWO WAYS. If they want Maccas for dinner, you’ll probs have Maccas for dinner. The term letting yourself go didn’t just come out of thin air.
5. You basically just scored a personal assistant.
From picking you up when you “don’t want to walk” or “wanna get lit at family functions“, to ironing you clothes and delivering all of your demanding needs.
“When we’re hung AF there’s another person to get up and answer door to UberEats coz I’m so hungover I literally can’t even move. Like I’m legit paralysed by alcohol poisoning.” – Teagan.
6. They support your needs, no matter how cooked those needs are.
“They help to not look like a loner when you go to the dog park, by yourself, without a dog.” – Jordan Brown.
“He eats gluten free, dairy free, fructose pizza / meals with me even though he doesn’t have allergies (BTW I have them, not by choice).” – Ashli Templer.
P.TV’s Advertising & Partnerships Director, Jacqui La’Brooy, has received multiple upgrades while holidaying with her partner, including a fuck-off table overlooking the sea at Le Serinuse (a Michelin star restuarant) in Positano with complimentary champas, as well as:
A Pool Cabana at The Roosevelt in LA
Room upgrade at The Ace Hotel In NYC
Free bottle of wine in San Francisco
Free spa treatment in Bali
8. They can reach places that you can’t.
Whether it’s fake tan, sunscreen, moisturiser or, you know, waxing, the loneliness is real when you literally try and bend over backwards to get that unattainable back spot.
“He totes puts fake tan on my back and was genuinely upset when I bought a back tanning mit.” – Teagan.
If you’re smart, you would’ve strategically gotten yourself a bae for the winter time. Given, this is not such a luxury in summer, but ride it out and you’ll be happy when the colder months rears its ugly head yet again.
10. Ya’ get to eat ALL OF THE FOOD.
Can’t decide what you want between two options on the menu? Make bae get your second choice and try both. Finished ya’ meal but still hungry? All g, finish bae’s meal when they can’t.
“If you go out for dinner we split the bill an I also get to finish whatever she can’t eat.” – Shane Southwood.
That too.
While my single self would like to tell y’all that relationships are for losers, ya’ can’t deny that there’s some beaut benefits to be had in those things.
AHM Health Insurance is one bae you definitely want to cosy up with, because, like your partner (current or future), they want your relationship with them to be all about the perks (albeit, minus the hanky panky). Find out more about why they’re your perf match (like extras from $3 a week*) HERE.
*For single paying by direct debit with 26.791% Australian Government Rebate and nil LHC.
Photo: 10 Things I Hate About You.
