Was Kylie Actually Kim’s Surrogate This Whole Time? An Investigation

Alright fam, step right up, because we’re going deep on this ‘Kylie Jenner is Kim Kardashian‘s surrogate‘ theory.

This morning, Kim announced that she and Kanye have welcomed a brand new baby girl. (Congrats! Exciting times! Keen to see what you follow ‘North‘ and ‘Saint‘ with, tbh. Jane?)

And because Kylie Jenner – who has still not confirmed or denied her pregnancy because she hates us and wants us to suffer – is linked to this pregnancy by way of blood and rumours, fans thought that perhaps this news meant Kylie was no longer pregnant, too…. because she’s Kim’s surrogate.

Kim has been very public about using a surrogate for the birth of her third child, after complications during her pregnancy with Saint meant carrying a child was life-threatening to both her and any future babies. News of Kim’s surrogate broke in June.

In September, rumours starting flying at the speed of fucking light that Kylie was pregnant. [Side note: how long ago does that feel?? A goddamn lifetime.]

It didn’t take long for fans to put two and two together and reach five, in that Kylie might just be Kim’s surrogate.

Now, even thought the Kardashian-Jenners are about as far from a normal family as it’s possible to be, it would still be extremely weird for a 20-year-old millionaire to sacrifice their body. Not bad, you understand. Just weird.

Speed this up to two days ago. Rumours started circulating that Kylie had gone into labour, and then next minute, Kim announces that her surrogate has given birth. YOU connect the dots, alright?

There was even a snap from Kylie’s boyfriend / rumoured baby daddy Travis Scott making the rounds, with the words, “Make it home to ya one way or another”, adding to the speculation that he was rushing home for a birth.

Now, the Keeping Up With The Kardashians two-day special. They promised us “big news”, and when it finally aired on Sunday, the big news was that… Khloé Kardashian was pregnant. FAM, WE ALREADY KNEW THAT. FUCK.

But here’s the thing: during the announcement, everyone was there except Kylie. She was somewhere else (doing what?), and had to be FaceTimed in to the meeting. Sorry, but what is Kylie Jenner doing that’s more important than filming a two-day KUWTK special learning about and celebrating her sister’s pregnancy? Hiding her own pregnancy until Kris Jenner allowed it to go public, of course.

NOT UNTIL I SAY SO, SWEETIE

Unfortunately, the Kylie-as-Kim’s-surrogate was officially busted, or as official as we’re likely to get. According to those gossip experts at TMZ, Kylie didn’t check into Cedars-Sinai hospital in Los Angeles – where all the other sisters have given birth – but more than that, she’s not even due this month.

Which brings us to Kylie Jenner and the CVS photo.

Kylie – or at least a lookalike – was spotted in a pharmacy, reportedly near the aforementioned Cedars-Sinai hospital.

The oversized jumped, the protruding belly, it all points to a super pregnant Kylie, right? Some people have been arguing that it couldn’t possibly be Kylie because her shoes are fugly or some shit, but to that I say: girl is in leggings and a hoodie. Let her live.

no shoe-shaming, pls

And then you have the whole issue of Kylie Jenner catching an employee taking secret pics of her inside her own home. Yes, it’s scary and horrible and a huge breach of trust, but also: why would the employee be risking their job to take a secret pic of her in the first place? Maybe to sell the pic of her pregnant belly for hundreds of thousands of dollars???

In conclusion to this freaking THESIS and a real good use of my journalism degree, Kylie Jenner probably was/is still pregnant, but was not Kim’s surrogate.

~THE END~

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