I want to preface this rollercoaster ride of a story by saying that humans are trash and I am team camel all the way – through and through. Okay, now let’s get to the bottom of this clusterfuck, my fellow Nancy Drews

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A camel and a woman have had a… unique encounter at a Louisiana truck stop after she literally chomped on the poor guy’s family jewels while trying to ‘rescue’ her dog from his enclosure. I never thought I’d write a sentence like this in my life but, hey, here we are.

Caspar the camel, who lives in an enclosure at the Louisiana truck stop, was minding his own business when the woman of interest and her husband started throwing dog treats into his enclosure. Their dog much obliged and crawled under the fence to join the camel, before the couple subsequently followed suit in a bid to get the doggo out. That’s when Caspar strutted on over to the lady and rightfully planted his fine derrière on top of her, causing her to retaliate by chomping at his dangly bits.

“She said, ‘I bit his balls to get him off of me, I bit his testicles to get him off of me,'” Deputy Louis Hamilton Jr. spoke to The Advocate. “The camel did nothing wrong. They were aggressive. The camel was just doing its normal routine.”

Hamilton continued: “The camel has never been aggressive, the camel has never gotten out, never caused any issues. My only question to her husband was: ‘Why did you throw the doggy treat under the fence?’ and he just said, ‘I wasn’t thinking.'”

Pamela Bossier, the truck stop manager, defended poor Caspar.

“Any animal you provoke, they’re going to strike back,” she told The Advocate. “It’s instinct.”

“He’s really a gentle giant.”

I’m so proud of Caspar for sitting on that human. He was already confined against his will, and then even that small space was invaded by a dumb fucking couple who thought it would be a laugh to see their dog in the enclosure.

If someone invades your space and provokes you, Caspar, I say sit on them. And then sit on them some more.

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SIT. ON. THEM. BITCHES.

Just let the man chill in peace, Goddamn it.

Source: The Advocate

Image: Getty Images / NurPhoto