A Russian Navy ship has been taken down in the Arctic Ocean by *checks notes* a mother walrus who was violently defending her calves. Talk about girl power.
Yes. Russia, the military superpower that could probably nuke us all out of existence at any given moment, has been taken down by a fucking walrus.
The tugboat, which was casually travelling through the freezing Arctic waters of the Franz Josef Land archipelago to study plant and animal life in the area, ran into trouble when a mother walrus and her calves got a little spooked. Honestly, relatable. I too, would be spooked if a Russian Navy vessel was parked in my backyard.
The walrus charged the tugboat with its sharp tusks, causing the vessel to start sinking. I’m no geographical expert, or any sort of expert for that matter, but sinking seems like an especially bad idea when you’re in freezing Arctic waters.
“During the landing at Cape Heller, a group of researchers had to flee from a female walrus, which, protecting its cubs, attacked an expedition boat,” a navy statement said.
According to the military statement notes, there was no loss of equipment or boats, but the Russian Geographical Society reported otherwise, according to Live Science.
“The boat sank, but the tragedy was avoided thanks to the clear actions of the squad leader.”
Thankfully, nobody was hurt during the ordeal, despite mixed messages from the Russian military on the state of the tugboat.
Military personnel onboard were also allegedly flying a drone in the area, which copped an unwelcome flipper from the mother walrus. Again, that’s what you get when you invade someone’s home in a big tugboat.
“I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob the fuck out of my home,” I imagine the mother walrus was saying.
The people on board were in the area to follow the historical expedition of Julius von Pater back in 1874 while researching local flora and fauna when they were attacked.
I guess that’s what you get for driving a tugboat through the Arctic National Park. According to news.com.au, this area has been a nature sanctuary since 1994, and part of the national park since 2012, so it’s basically walrus property at this point.
Technically it wasn’t an actual military expedition, they were just trying to study and research the area, but how the fuck is a walrus supposed to know that? She’s a WALRUS for crying out loud.
Considering a beluga whale with a Russian military harness was discovered earlier this year, it wouldn’t be entirely surprising if this walrus was actually a secret navy spy that just hangs out in the Arctic to fuck up unsuspecting Russian ships. It’s a well known fact that Russia and the US use ocean animals like dolphins for military purposes, so maybe the walrus will become their newest recruit.
Sergeant Walrus reporting for duty.
