Hey, wanna see something that might fuck you up to your very core? Spider feet. Specifically, spider paws, as they’re officially known.
Any mild arachnophobe can tell you that the worst thing about spiders is their excessive number of legs. They have eight, when clearly two-to-four is manageable in most situations.
But earlier this week, Twitter exploded in what we can only describe as ‘spider feet porn’. No one asked them to show feet, sweetie, but they showed feet anyway.
Does this look CUTE, to you???
Eensy weensy spider…. #SingAlong pic.twitter.com/g1gMpu9oqI
— Ageya Achili Diglihi (@FriendsOfPipe) September 16, 2017
Okay, a bit, yes.
But what about THIS??
Because you loved them so much: more spider paws. #NowYouKnow pic.twitter.com/lJKeyFr0LR
— Ageya Achili Diglihi (@FriendsOfPipe) September 17, 2017
Cute? You think it looks CUTE, do ya? Now imagine it gently pressing against your skin, along with seven other spider paws because the damn thing is crawling up your arm. How cute is it now?
This will never, ever be okay.
Spider paw pic.twitter.com/7LSqIoKncb
— Brad!!! (@NiceLovingFrend) September 17, 2017
A spider paw. #NowYouKnow pic.twitter.com/qPixDVx1rb
— Ageya Achili Diglihi (@FriendsOfPipe) September 16, 2017
A spider paw. #NowYouKnow pic.twitter.com/clauSHyenT
— Ageya Achili Diglihi (@FriendsOfPipe) September 16, 2017
A small portion of the population thinks these spider paws are adorable, and we’re here to tell you that sadly, all these people have brain diseases.
https://twitter.com/MissArmageddon/status/909960175519358976
https://twitter.com/vera_larose/status/909209854983770112
Awwww so cute!
— DianaCarole Hart aka GranMaHart (@SistaSoulJaHart) September 19, 2017
Some people think spider “paws” are just as cute as puppy and kitten paws
— Indianacats (@Indianacats) September 18, 2017
Elsewhere, slightly more sane people have the right idea about spider ‘paws’: still connected to spider ‘legs’, of which there are too many.
Seen non-stop posts about spiders having ‘cute’ paws… I’m sorry but spiders are not cute! Take your spider vibes elsewhere!
— Benji Clifford ☮️ (@la_bonj) September 16, 2017
Cat paw. Spider paws. Hey spiders, it’s not working. You are still not cute and my cat will kill you if you come near us. pic.twitter.com/lkdKWPtgNl
— Nekrotikk (@Nekrotikk) September 17, 2017
May this madness end, and may we never show spider feet again.
If you have a normal, non-spider animal for a pet, make sure your pets stay red-carpet ready by grabbing pet insurance over HERE and cop the first two months free.
