A South Australian Town Has Banned Cats From Roaming At Night, Like That’ll Fucken Work

A South Australian town has announced a new ban on cats roaming the streets at night.

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From early next year, Mount Barker residents will need to lock their cats indoors between 8PM-7AM.

Jamie Tann, Mount Barker’s manager of health and safety, told The Messenger they’d received a lot of requests on the matter.

“A lot of people have mentioned they want the council to play a role in cat management. We’re allowing cats to roam for part of the day, but at night when they’re most active and have the most impact on wildlife, we’re expecting them to be kept inside.”

Look, I’m no expert on cats (they make my face swell up so I tend to love them from a distance) but I’m pretty sure that, although cats can prey on wildlife and be quite mischievous, they also thrive at night and it’d be pretty hard to keep a whole town’s worth indoors.

Also, this rule completely overlooks the kitty kats who just want to let their whiskers down on a Saturday night, drink some milk and go buckwild at the clubs. Think of the club cats, for christ’s sake – they deserve to get their freak on just as much as the next person.

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