It’s a sad but inescapable fact of life: the holidays brings out the worst in people. And this year, the greed, temper tantrums, coal-hearted indifference and downright criminal behaviour isn’t limited to your fellow man, either – even the animals are being Scrooges.
I’m talking, of course, about this remorseless, unrepentant, adorable but hardened criminal, a crook who’s been operating for far too long under the very noses of the Franklin PD, Massachusetts: the so-called therapy dog also known as Ben, the Golden Retriever.
Don’t let his snuggly appearance fool you! This is a criminal mastermind of the worst sort, as representatives from the police station will tell you.
According to reports, Franklin Police Department was in the process of collecting donated toys for the Santa Foundation, a local nonprofit who looks after families in need during the holidays.
However, they soon discovered that toys were disappearing from the donation bins. After some expert police work, they discovered that the culprit was one of their own.
Deputy Chief James Mill told a local news station: “When Ben saw the toys, he thought they all belonged to him.“
Emboldened by his previous success, this fluffy anti-Santa even allowed himself to be caught on camera by his colleagues, leading them directly to his den of iniquity (under someone’s desk).
Franklin PD posted the evidence of Ben’s crimes to Facebook, with an accompanying statement:
We learned an extremely valuable lesson today. When you have a classroom full of toys ready to be shipped off to the Santa Foundation, you should…
1. Close the door to the classroom
Or
2. Keep the toys elevated
If not, a golden retriever will slowly hoard them throughout the day and bring them back to his lair. Thanks to Officer Cusson for capturing this larceny on camera.
Shocking stuff. Fortunately, Mill said that the police response was swift and merciless.
It was an easy solution. Ben here is now banned from this room. I mean, he’s gotten his slobber all over them at this point so the police department has replaced them.
And as for the perp? Well:
He has the run of the station and it’s amazing. It’s amazing. He’s like that guy who shows up to the party that everyone loves and seriously, if Ben walks in, it’s like a ray of sunshine.
There you go. Let that be a lesson to all you would-be toy thieves. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a cuddle session to schedule with my new favourite therapy dog, and a number of toys I need to donate to his cause.
