So. Folks. A while back, I was perusing my Instagram as you do, when a post from Koala came up.
[jwplayer TbIvUgrd]
It was this post, to be specific.
YES. THAT IS A TINY FUCKING KOALA BED FOR ANIMALS.
I freaked the fuck out because my dog is my child, and it is also my very, very spoiled asshole of a child who needs the very best and most exclusive shit, always. So I emailed Koala, and said “OMFG ARE YOU MAKING DOG BEDS”. Literally like that is how I emailed, because I am v. professional.
Anyway, they tell me that no, they don’t make dog beds – they made a couple for a competition (see above) connected to The Dog Lovers Show, but that was it.
But! They would make MY MILLIE MOO one!
So then I got a very large head and thought I was a Very Special Media Person, and felt sorry for the rest of the nation, who couldn’t just score a Koala dog bed so easily. My head was completely deflated about an hour later when I had to run for the bus and fell over, and then had to keep running for it because I didn’t have time to miss it. If I was important I would have been getting in like, a town car or some shit. I’m back down on Earth, guys.
But the point is, it seemed like a loss for all of those with spoiled little shits of pets to not be allowed the luxury of a miniature Koala bed. So I told Koala they should be making these as something you can actually buy.
It’s not actually as stupid and meaningless as you think – there are TONS of dog beds now that are being made specifically to care for your little furry mate’s back. All these ergonomic/memory foam thingies designed specifically to support pups as they rest, so a mini Koala mattress (I can’t confirm if it was made exactly like a human one, but it does feel firm and supportive?) actually makes sense.
Anyway, they’ve said if you email them here: koaladogbed@koala.com they’ll consider it.
Get fucking emailing, what are you still doing here? Email!! TINY KOALA BED FOR DOG WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HERE MATES!
