A very horned-up dolphin that lives around the beach town of Brest (hehe) in France has forced one of the local beaches to close because the dolphin doesn’t seem to know when to calm the fuck down.

Nicknamed Zafar, the young bottlenose dolphin has been entertaining beachgoers in L’auberlac’h Bay since he showed up in the area last year, with his toey-as-fuck displays trying to attract a mate, but they’ve sparked concerns that he’s getting too close for comfort.

According to reports, the horny bugger hasn’t really attacked anyone just yet but god he’s been a little shit – rubbing up against swimmers and boats, refusing to let people swim back to shore, jumping over people kayaking and apparently even tossing one swimmer into the air with his nose at one point. Randy bastard’s more keen than mustard on a hot dog.

Christ, imagine having a dip at the beach and some fuckin’ randy dolphin sidles up to you like some sleazy bastard sliding into your watery DMs after a night on the tins/krill. He’s just like “aye love wanna get outta here?” No THANK YOU.

Check out the video below of the little ratbag getting frisky as hell next to a boat.

Source: Time
Image: Instagram / @agnes_d_photographies