An emu in the South Australian town of Whyalla is so fucking done with the state of the nation that he’s trying to catch a flight out of here.
This is not a drill.
A fucking emu wandered into the Whyalla Airport on Saturday afternoon in what I can only assume is a desperate attempt to get as far away from Scott Morrison’s shit as humanly (emu-ly?) possible.
The emu scared cleaner Lesley King after it triggered the automatic doors and entered the terminal at approximately 2pm on Saturday afternoon.
“I ran and told my manager, who didn’t believe me at first,” Lesley said in a Facebook post.
I would call this a security flaw, but if you’ve ever visited a country town airport, you’d know security isn’t *really* a thing.
“I’d gone in to do my regular clean and as I came out of the men’s toilets… I came face-to-face with an emu,” Lesley told The Advertiser.
Lesley came out of the bathroom to find a fucking emu less than three inches from her face in the airport. Terrifying, I know.
“I let out a piercing scream and bolted back into the toilet,” she said.
The wild emu wandered throughout the terminal, pecking at the live plants and seemingly waiting for a flight. Unfortunately for the already-flightless bird, the last plane had left an hour before he arrived at the terminal.
After trying to remove the animal herself, King was forced to call a local wildlife rescue organisation to remove the emu from the airport.
Thankfully, no one was injured in the ordeal and the emu was safely removed from the terminal.