A bunch of dumbass birds in a small town in Minnesota are causing so much of a disruption that the police had to issue a warning to residents to be wary of the wee idiots because they’re seemingly drunk as shit, getting disorientated, and flying into cars and windows.
Apparently, these little ratbags are snacking on berries that have fermented early due to an earlier-than-normal frost, and those fermented berries are getting the little birdies more munted than Fevs at the Brownlow.
Locals have noticed that the birds are seemingly disorientated and confused, awkwardly running and flying into windows and walls, and literally divebombing into cars – with some commenting on the police department’s post that they’ve had accidents with these pissy birbs over the last few days.
According to some bird scientists (what’s the real name for that? who cares they’re bird scientists now) it’s the younger ones that end up three sheets to the wind because their bodies haven’t developed enough to process the fermented berries, so instead of being fine with a little tasty snacc, they’re getting absolutely sloshed and causing a fucken ruckus. It’s like The Birds but they’ve been playing goon of fortune instead.
Some wildlife shelters across the US end up running a booze bus during the migration season thanks to the high amount of hammered tweeters that get brought in either found after they’ve smacked into windows, or are just found staggering around with one eye open. They keep the wee drunks in overnight to sober up before letting them free the next day, probably with a cracker of a hangover.
Do they give them tiny hydralytes and a teeny bacon and egg roll? Who knows, but it’d be cute as shit if they did.
I mean at least over here the birds don’t fuck around with getting drunk on tiny berries like these idiots, they just go straight for the tinnies.
