Providing yet more evidence that New Zealand is a made-up country full of hired comic actors, the kererū or wood pigeon has taken out the country’s annual Bird of the Year competition after a fierce and meme-heavy campaign.
The kererū is an arboreal fruit-pigeon who can grow almost up to a kilo, and measure up to half a metre long. They eat native fruits and berries, and are the only native birds to eat some of the fruit species, meaning that many New Zealand trees rely on the birds for their reproduction.
More importantly, though, these chunky boys are the epitome of Absolute Units, known and loved as much for their phatness as for the characteristic whomp-whomp-whomp sound they make when flapping about the trees.
Much of the successful campaign for the kererū focused on its admirable thiccness (with some of the other contenders doing their best to get in on the chunk actions):
I’ve seen them gobbling down loquats. Those berries don’t stand a chance. pic.twitter.com/lNqhxyEzoY
— Eleanor Goldsmith (@zaichishka) October 11, 2018
FUN FACT: Kererū eat the fruit, leaves, twigs, buds, and shoots of over a hundred native, and fifty exotic, shrubs and trees. (@KereruDiscovery) THAT GIRTH.
Vote 🅱️ig this Bird of the Year. Vote Kererū: https://t.co/I4Mc79m2XT
sᴜʙᴍɪssɪᴏɴ: ᴊᴀᴄᴏʙ ᴋʟᴇɴɴᴇʀ 🗳 pic.twitter.com/vGUCUDx5A2— Kererū 2020 (@Kereru4PM) October 9, 2018
I’m voting kererū because of the time I saw them drunkenly walking across my lawn after eating fermented crab apples. https://t.co/uemIurh2CX
— Andrew Dean (@andrewhdean) October 8, 2018
💚 #KereCrew, you know what to do! 💚
Voting for #BirdoftheYear has opened, and you can cast your vote for the magnificent thicc boi right over here: https://t.co/Qf48iSKf3s. In the meantime, enjoy this vintage campaign meme. pic.twitter.com/kyWarFTd2r
— Kererū 2020 (@Kereru4PM) September 30, 2018
Back from hiatus! This week, I report on NZ’s annual #BirdOfTheYear contest, why the birds of #NewZealand are so special, why they’re disappearing, and why I voted for #TeamTakahe, the roundest boi, the absolute unit of NZ birds.https://t.co/iVq7W8o4dS pic.twitter.com/FkBM8mUHcp
— The Wild Focus Project (@WildFocusTweets) October 12, 2018
(And yes, the kererū is a proud member of the Drunk Birbs club, being well-known for getting loose on fermented crabapples and the like.)
This year’s Bird of the Year contest attracted the highest ever voting turnout, as well as a bunch of celebrity endorsement. Stephen Fry threw his support behind horny parrot the kākāpõ, and Bill Bailey jumped on board the very round takahē band wagon:
https://twitter.com/stephenfry/status/1047169351709650944
Rainbow-coloured, contrary and endangered this bird gets my vote for New Zealand’s #birdoftheyear so I say @VoteTakahe pic.twitter.com/UTn2hnxD8G
— Bill Bailey (@BillBailey) October 2, 2018
More than 48,000 people voted in this year’s poll, including an octogenarian who sent in their ballot by post because they couldn’t make the internet work.
Team Kererū co-campaigner Tim Onnes provided the following statement on their victory:
New Zealanders have voted overwhelmingly for change and the kererū pledges to honour this groundswell of popular opinion and govern for the many. Team kererū would like to thank the voting public for their support. It has been a long and arduous campaign and we couldn’t have done without their support. We’d also like to thank Forest & Bird for running Bird of the Year, raising awareness for the plight of our native birds, and for their ongoing conservation work, and all the other campaign teams whose memes obviously weren’t as dank – until next year.
